


A Place That Only We Know

by hyacinthis



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Anxiety, Building Relationship, Cheating, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Multi, Other, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Thorns of Death, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinthis/pseuds/hyacinthis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan Humphries has always kept to himself. Not many friends, no luck with relationships, not very popular around the offices. After meeting Eric Slingby at the London Dispatch Infirmary, he believes he has seen the love of his life. As a relatoinship develops, Alan and Eric learn several things and experience a lot together until Eric makes a terrible mistake that drives fragile Alan a bit too far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

"You're bleeding again." Alan blinked a few times as he stared out of the window and to the rain drenched back yard before he felt his sister's delicate hand lay on his shoulder. He turned, looking at her hand before he looked up at her. "Alan, you're bleeding again." She said sternly.

"Just let it bleed, Alina.." He said in response as he looked out the window again. "There's nothing we can do about it.." Alina sighed before she walked away from her younger brother and to the first aid kit located in the bathroom.

"Honestly, Alan, you're so stubborn sometimes." She sighed as she kneeled down next to he brother and began cleaning his bloody wrists. Alan winced slightly, squeezing his eyes shut as he did. Alina didn't even stop, she just continued to clean them until she wrapped bandages around them and stared at her brother.

"They bleed all the time.." Alan murmured. "It's no big deal.. If you would just let them bleed—"

"Alan, if I let them bleed you may die."

"Exactly." Alina looked up at her brother with wide eyes.

"Alan Humphries!" She snapped. "Don't you say that!"

"Well why just wait to rot away and die, huh?! Why wait on that?! I have nothing to live for, Alina!"

"Alan stop it!" Alan sighed deeply before he turned his head and looked out the window, watching the rain pour down outside. 

Alan Humphries had been diagnosed with the Thorns of Death when he was three years old and ever since then it had been ruining his life. He had attacks often, the marks from the Thorns bled heavily and frequently, and he found it hard to find happiness when he knew he was going to die. His mother and father, who died when he was five, left him with his older sister to take care of him. Though he loved his sister Alina, she was so protective and never let him be. She always went everywhere with him and he almost never got a moment alone. 

"I'm going outside." He said as he stood up.

"No you're not!" Alina snapped. "You'll catch a cold!" Alan turned around and glared at his sister, his temper finally getting to him.

"Alina, I'm just going to be frank here, I don't care. I really don't. I just want to go outside." Alina stared at her brother before she pushed her glasses up and sighed. Alan stared at her for a moment more before he walked through the living room, out the front door, and straight into the rain. He put out his hands, letting the rain trickle down them as he let out a sigh of contentment. For a lonely soul like Alan, rain was a chance to be touched. Rain was a chance to feel something. Rain was a chance at a new life. Alan believed in a lot of things like that. It gave Alan a sliver of hope. Slowly he walked down his driveway, his hair and clothes becoming soaked as he did. He couldn't see to well through his glasses, considering he didn't bother to wipe the rain off of them. The summer air and the rain felt wonderful against his skin. It felt nice to go outside. Alina was always afraid of letting her younger brother go outside which deeply upset Alan. Alan loved being outside, he especially loved gardening. He had a talent for plants and was often caught in his garden.

"Alan, come back inside." Alan looked over at the porch and to his older sister who stood under the canopy. "I don't want you getting sick."

"I'm not going to get sick."

"Alan please." Alan sighed, closing his emerald eyes before he slowly walked inside, not even glancing at his sister.


	2. Chapter Two

The brunette reaper sighed as he stared at the window and listened to the monotone voice of his therapist. Why did Alina make him go to something so stupid and idiotic? Softly he brought a delicate hand up to the window and slowly traced a drop of rain that was running down the other side of the window. Oh how he wanted to be out in the rain so badly. But no, he couldn't. If he did he was just going to catch a cold according to Alina. Carefully he pressed his forehead against the window sill. All he wanted was to be able to be touched by the soothing feel of the rain. That was all he wanted in that moment. He didn't want to be cooped up in a room with an old therapist who thought he was helping but he was really just annoying Alan.

"Are you listening, Alan?" Alan didn't answer, he just stared out the window. "Alan!" The brunette inhaled slowly, closing his eyes as he slowly turned his head back towards his therapist.

"Yes sir.." He said in an annoyed tone. "I am listening as a matter of fact and do you want to know what I think?"

"Oh!" The therapist's face brightened. Alan was actually going to tell him what he thought? "Yes please of course!"

"I think you're an annoying prick who thinks you're helping but you're really just irritating the fuck out of me." He stared at Alan with large blue eyes before he slowly pushed them up his nose and blinked several times.

"A-Alan—"

"No." Alan sighed, standing up as he did. "No, I'm not dealing with your shit anymore. You're not helpful at all." He sighed as he practically ran out of the office he was currently sitting in and ran face first into his sister. Alina blinked a few times, pushing up her glasses and rubbing her head before she looked down at her brother. Slowly she shook her head and helped him up, blinking at him several times before she sighed.

"Alan," she started in a near exhausted tone. "Why? Can't you jest accept help when it's given to you?"

"Alina it's not help." Alan sighed as he slipped on his coat and began walking towards the door. "It's a man claiming he knows how to help him when he really doesn't."

"Please, Alan, if you'd just listen—"

"Alina stop it! It's not worth this!" Alan yelled in response. "I'm going to die one way or another and there's nothing you can do to stop it! I'm sorry but you can't!" Alina stopped and stared at her brother for a moment as tears began to leak down her porcelain cheeks.

"I'm just trying to do what mom and dad would do for you!" She yelled back, squeezing her eyes shut. "I'm just trying to let them know that I'm doing my best at taking care of you! I just want you safe, Alan! That's all I want!" Alan stared at her. He genuinely felt bad for his sister. Slowly he shook his head and walked out the door without a second glance as he disappeared into the rain. 

Alina blinked several times, tears still pouring from her green eyes. Her knees felt weak and her eyes fluttered. She had let her baby brother down again. Slowly she leaned against the wall, biting down on her lip as she choked down a sob. She just wanted Alan to be happy. She just wanted Alan to get rid of the thought of death. She wanted Alan to be happy like he was so many years ago. Slowly the woman closed her eyes, letting out a whimper as she slowly sat on the floor. She had taught Alan how to walk and how to talk. She remembered her mother teaching him how to sing, she remembered her father teaching him how to read. She remembered when Alan used to smile. Alan smiled all the time, even after he was diagnosed with the Thorns. He smiled until their parents died and then Alina never saw his smile again. That shattered the reaper's heart. Her brother used to be so happy until the worse happened to him.

Alan huffed as he tugged his coat around his body, trying to block out the rain for once. He didn't realize how windy it was. The rain blew against him and hurt every part of his skin that it touched. It was almost like hail but it was warmer. Alan let out a small cough as he continued to walk at a fast pace back home. As he was walking though he felt his chest tighten and it suddenly became harder to breathe. No no now, please not now. Alan thought to himself as he continued to walk. Just keep breathing, you can't have an attack in the middle of town. Please just hold out a little longer. But the pain in his chest only worsened and before he knew it he found himself wheezing and gasping for breath. Finally he had to stop walking, he clutched his chest and coughed violently before he felt to his knees and gasped for breath once more. The corners of his eyes were blackened and the world was becoming blurry with each passing moment. Alan slowly tried to stand up, coughing a little more as he did, and only resulted in falling to the ground again. No, no no no no no no no! Not now please! But alas, Alan's arguments with himself got him nowhere and he only ended up in a heap on the sidewalk.

The brunette stood slowly as she wiped her eyes and got out her umbrella. She hoped Alan was alright. If something happened to him she would never be able to forgive herself. Slowly she walked outside and began walking toward the direction of their house, knowing that that was where Alan was heading. She didn't bother getting in her car due to the anxious feeling she had inside of her chest, she just walked quickly down the rain covered sidewalk. She had walked quite a ways before she got to a crowd of people standing around a fallen body. Alina's eyes widened and she quickly pushed past them, only to find Alan on the ground. Quickly she put her head to her brother's chest. He was still breathing.

"Call an ambulance, please!" She called out to the ground around her as she scooped her brother up into her arms, cradling him carefully. I've got you Alan. Don't worry. I've got you.


	3. Chapter Three

 

Ugh.. Where am I? Why is it so damned bright in here? My head hurts so badly… What happened to me? 

 

Slowly Alan sat up, his mind reeling as he looked around an infirmary room. He sighed, suddenly getting dizzy as he laid back down and closed his eyes. It wasn't like he could see much without his glasses, anyways. He inhaled slowly, slowly reaching over to his bedside table to try and find his glasses. Once he found the rounded spectacles he slipped them on and slowly looked around again, only to find that he wasn't the only one in the infirmary. Next to his bed sat a large male with blonde-black hair and blue tinted glasses. One of his arms was wrapped and he sat quietly, eyes closed. Alan blinked several times before he slowly opened his mouth to speak but then closed his mouth again. Who the hell was he? Alan always had an infirmary room to himself, never in his life had he had to share a room with someone. Slowly he peeked continued to look around the room. It seemed that this gruff looking man and himself were the only ones in the room. Slowly Alan inhaled, holding his breath as he continued to watch the man who laid next to him. Much to Alan's surprise, the man opened one bright green eye and stared at Alan; making him jump slightly.

"Ah so ye're finally awake are ye?" Alan blinked a few times. He could barely understand this man's accent.

"P-Pardon me?" The man shook his head, slowly opening his other eye as he stretched.

"Ye've been asleep fer days, pal." He said with a shrug. "Just now wakin' up. Wha' 'appened ta ye anyways?" Alan blinked again. Scottish accent. It was a Scottish accent he had and it was unbelievably hard to understand.

"W-Well I had an a-a-attack.." 

"Attack?"

"Y-Yes.." Alan started slowly. "From the Thorns of.. Of Death." The man's green eyes widened as he stared at Alan.

"Ye have tha Thorns of Death?" He asked in a hushed tone. 

"Yes, I-I do." The man stared at Alan for a moment before he nodded his head respectfully.

"Ye're much respected 'ere sir." He said, giving him a small salute before he looked straight into Alan's eyes. "Wha's yer name?"

"I'm Alan.. Alan Humphries." He said slowly, holding out his hand to the other hospital bed to shake hands.

"Eric Slingby at yer service!" He smiled, shaking Alan's hand wildly with his free one. 

"Now I suppose it's my turn to ask," Alan said as he sat up, feeling a bit less cautious once he knew that Eric was harmless. "How did you get here?"

"Ah, I was out doin' me field work and I was dealin' with spontaneous combustions and such. I accidentally got burnt real bad an' all but it isn't a big deal." He said with a shrug. "Doctors said I'd be alrigh'."

"Field work?" Alan asked as he cocked his head. "Spontaneous combustions? Do you happen to work for the Death Dispatch?"

"Yeah! Do ye?"

"Indeed." Alan nodded his head. "I usually check over the count of souls, though, since I can't really leave the office much."

"Tha' mus' be why I never see ye!" He said with a grin. "I was thinking' 'He's a skinny bugger, no wonder I've never seen 'im!'" Alan blinked several times before he smiled. This reaper was so large and brutal looking but he was actually very sweet and lovable. 

"Well yes," Alan said as he nodded his head. "I work in the offices with Mr. Spears more than I work on the field. I've only done it once and when I did I had a terrible attack."

"Tha's a shame." Eric said with a frown as he looked at Alan. "Ye look like a good person, Al. Ye don' deserve them damn Thorns." Alan shrugged, playing with a bit of his hair.

"Maybe I did something in a past life that was so terrible that I deserve this."

"Now don't say tha'!" Eric exclaimed before he pulled Alan into a tight hug. Alan's eyes widened. Human contact. He hadn't had that in forever. "I'm positive that ye've always been a good and nice person!"

"Th-Thank you, Eric." He said as he pushed up his glasses before he slowly and reluctantly pulled away from the tight hug. For whatever reason Alan liked that. The arm of Eric's that wasn't bandaged was so strong and protecting. Alan was already ready for another one of the reaper's hugs but he wasn't going to push either of them.

"Ye alright?" He asked, cocking his head. Alan's eyes widened slightly. almost forgetting that Eric was there.

"Yes, I-I'm fine. Don't wo—"

"Alan!" Both of the reapers looked up only to see Alina rushing towards Alan and throwing her arms around him. "Alan Alan Alan! I was so worried! You wouldn't wake up, your breathing was so slow and— Oh my lord look at how thin you've gotten! You need to eat!" Alan sighed, leaning back in bed before he glanced at Eric. His heart hurt slightly when he saw the sudden sadness in the blonde's eyes.

"Uhm.." Eric spoke up slowly, rubbing the back of his neck as he did. "Th-This yer girlfriend, Al?" Alan shook his head quickly, slowly pulling a sobbing Alina off of him.

"No. This is my older sister Alina." Alan looked up to Alina with his green eyes, suddenly filled with a light Alina hadn't seen in years. "Alina, this is a new friend go mine Eric." Alina looked at Eric, scanning him up and down in a judgmental fashion. Slowly she brought her lips to Alan's ear.

"Alan.. I don't think you should be making friends with someone like him.. He doesn't look too," Alina paused and looked at Eric. "He just doesn't look like a genuinely good person."

"Oh shutup!" Alan snapped, squirming away form her slightly. Gently he reached over and held Eric's hand. "He's a good guy."


	4. Chapter Four

Alina left shortly after she had made sure that Alan had dinner and promised to be back by morning so they could have morning tea. Eric and Alan talked the night away, getting to know each other a lot better. Eric had never met someone like Alan. Someone who had to stare death in the face with each passing day. Eric was truly proud of his newly found friend. He had never met anyone who wanted someone to love him so badly either. Eric thought it was sweet. They talked and talked and talked until Alan, the poor soul, fell asleep talking. Eric, per usual, was left alone again. He didn't mind though. Alan looked awfully cute when he was sleeping. Eric had never really met a male that he actually liked either. Actually developed feelings for. It was strange. Unfortunately, though, after they both left the hospital they probably weren't going to see each other ever again. Eric prayed that that wouldn't be the case. He wanted to get to know Alan, he wanted to care for him, love him, and protect him. 

The night went by seemingly quickly for Eric. He didn't mind whispering his thoughts to a sleeping Alan. It wasn't like he could hear anyways. It was no problem. Just as the Scottish reaper began to fall asleep the door opened and he quickly opened his eyes. In walked Alan's sister just as she did the night before. Eric looked up at the clock. Seven-thirty sharp. Eric's eyes looked over to Alan, who was curled up in a small ball, then looked up to Alina. Just from the first time he "met" Alina he didn't much like her, he came close to hating her after she told Alan that he didn't seem like a good person. Eric thought he was a wonderful person. 

"Will you stop watching me?" Alina asked as she began setting up the tea on the small table in the room. "It gets a little nerve wracking." Eric blinked a few times before he looked over at a sleeping Alan again. The brunette's cheek was squished slightly against his pillow while his left arm hung off of the bed slightly. Eric fought back the urge to lean over and gently hold the younger reaper's hand until he woke up.

"I think ye should let 'im sleep fer a while longer." Eric said quietly, his eyes still on Alan. "'E looks pretty worn out if ye ask me. 'E needs rest after an attack."

"And how would you know that?" She asked as she put two tea cups on saucers. "You don't know anything about the Thorns."

"An' how would ye know tha'?" Eric echoed in a mocking tone. "I know I might look stupid but I swear on me ever lovin' life that I ain't." Alina turned around and glared at Eric. Who the hell did he think she was?

"I'm sorry, Eric, but do you know who I am? I am the eldest child of Aaron and Alice Humphries; I am the heir to the Humphries family, the owner of the Humphries family business, and most importantly I am the older sister and caretaker of Alan Humphries. I know everything about him and last I checked you know nothing. I suggest you just lay off. You wouldn't know how to take care of him." Eric glared at Alina. Alina, upon ending her argument, turned around and continued to fix the morning tea. She inhaled slowly, quietly. Was this jealousy she was feeling inside of her? Jealousy over that Eric fellow? She sighed and shook her head. It couldn't be. She was just getting protective over Alan, that was all. Yes.. That was it.

Eric continued to glare at Alan's sister, refusing to take his eyes off of the back of her head. Slowly he sighed and let his eyes once again fall upon Alan. This time, though, Alan wasn't sleeping. His eyes were slowly fluttering open. Eric smiled. He had just met Alan but he was probably the most precious thing he had ever seen. Probably the most beautiful as well. Slowly Alan reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his glasses before he slowly slipped them on, not moving from the position that he had been previously sleeping in. He blinked a few times through his glasses, getting used to the brightness of the room before he looked up at Eric. Almost instantly a smile spread across his face. A true, genuine smile. Eric looked back down at Alan through his tinted glasses before he smiled back, wanting to wrap the small reaper into a tight hug. 

"Good morning." Alan spoke in a small voice as he stretched. Eric smiled, biting his lip.

"Mornin'. 'Ow'd ye sleep? Ye seemed a li'l squirmy las' nigh'." Alan shrugged, laying his head on his arms as he stared up at Eric.

"It was just the usual nightmares. No big deal." Eric's eyes widened slightly. Nightmares? He didn't know that Alan had nightmares. "But otherwise I slept just fine!" 

"Well good." Eric smiled. "… Were tha nightmares bad?" He asked quietly.

"No. They weren't enough to wake me up so they weren't all that bad." Alan said nonchalantly. The two paused for a moment, silence greeting them before Alan broke the silence. "Anyways, enough about me. How did you sleep?" Eric shrugged. He didn't sleep at all.

"Well." He said before he nodded his head. Alan smiled, blinking innocently at him through his glasses. Eric bit his lip for a moment before he carefully leaned over and placed a small kiss on top of Alan's head. "I'm.. I'm glad ye slept well." 

"I can say the same for you, Eric." alan cooed in responses, a smile painted across his lips and a small blush across his cheeks. Eric chuckled before he slowly leaned back in his bed, ruffling Alan's hair slightly. Alina looked up again, smiling when she saw her brother awake.

"Good morning, Alan!" She chirped as she rushed over to him and wrapped him into a hug. "How'd you sleep?

 

"Fine." Alan answered a she loosely wrapped his arms around Alina. Eric glared at Alina as he slowly inhaled. He had the terrible urge to rip her off of Alan and scold her for touching him, but he didn't. He just glared at her.

"Good, good! I really hated to leave you here alone last night, Alan, but they wouldn't let me still what with another patient being in here and all. I'm sure it would be different if Eric weren't here and you had your own room!"

"Actually, Eric kept me company last night." Alan said as he took his comb from the bedside table and began combing it out gently. "We talked and talked and talked. I don't even remember falling asleep but I obviously did. It was quite nice." There it was again. That terrible feeling inside of Alina. It's not jealousy… She thought to herself. You're just getting protective of Alan.. You're just getting protective.

 

"Good." She said through gritted teeth. "I'm glad you weren't lonely." Eric smirked. Alina was jealous. Alina was definitely jealous. "Well, I'm going to go get the tea. The cooks here were gracious enough to let it boil in the kitchen so I should go get it." She said simply before darting out of the room.

"She's a bitch…" Eric muttered. Alan looked over at Eric with large, green, innocent eyes. Panic surged through Eric once he saw Alan look at him. He heard him. Shit, he had blown it with Alan. Fuck.

"Oh, I know." Alan said simply. "I've had to live with her all of my life. She's a jealous, clingy bitch." Eric stared at Alan for a moment before he chuckled.

"Glad ye agree." He chuckled. Alan let out a small giggle, covering his mouth with his delicate hand as he did. Eric smiled. Precious. The two sat in a sweet silence for a moment before Alan leaned over and pressed his lips to Eric's cheek in a small kiss. Eric's eyes widened as he felt his heart skip a beat. "W-Wha' was tha' fer?" Alan shrugged.

"I just thought you might want a kiss too."

"Wha'?"

"You kissed my head earlier so I thought that you might want a kiss in return," Alan said with a smile. "So I kissed your cheek." Eric's heart melted. That was just too precious. 

"Well thank ye, Alan." He said warmly. "Tha's very sweet o' ye." Alan stared up at Eric, his heart beating at full speed. Alan was never really one to believe in first sight but Eric really did something for him. Maybe it was because he was genuinely kind and sweet, maybe it was because he was so cuddly. Alan wasn't sure.

"I'm back~!" Alina called out in a sing-song voice as she rushed through the door with a teapot and began pouring tea into the small cups. "Morning tea is ready!" Alan rolled his eyes, looking to Eric and blowing him a small kiss before he slowly slipped out of bed and shuffled over to the small table. 

"It smells nice." Alan said softly as he sat down. Alina smiled, looking at Alan as she sat down as well.

"I would hope so. Mum used to make it for you all the time when you were little." Alan force up slightly, cup clenched in his hand at the mention of his lover. Alina bit her lip quickly. Alan never really liked talking about his parents since he didn't really remember them. "Alan I-I—"

"It's fine.." He said softly as he slowly took a sip of his tea before he set his cup down on the saucer. "It's fine." Alan, Alina, and (of course) Eric all sat in a silence after that. Eric and Alina didn't want to upset Alan any more than Alina already had and Alan just didn't feel like taking anymore. They all continued to sit in silence as Alan and Alina drank their tea, the tense atmosphere almost suffocating.

"Eric~!" Suddenly the door flew open, causing Alina to jump in fright and drop her cup, as a redhead woman and dual haired teen ran into the room and crowded around Eric.

"Eric Senpai!" The dual haired teen mused. "How are ya?! Seems like forever since we've seen ya!"

"It's only been two days, Ronald." Eric chuckled as he poked the teen's stomach lightly. Alan slowly put down his cup as he cocked his head and watched them, a smile slowly spreading across his face. He recognized the redhead as Grell Sutcliff from work but he had no idea who the other one was. Ronald? He hadn't heard the name before. 

"Oh but we've missed you so~!" Grell squeaked, throwing her arms around Eric as she nuzzled his cheek with hers. Eric laughed and pushed the both of them away with one small push.

"What're ye all doin' 'ere?" Eric asked as he looked up at them from his hospital bed.

"You don't know?" Ronald asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"You get to go home today!" Grell chirped. Alan's eyes widened and he felt his heart sink to his stomach as he made eye contact with Eric. He couldn't leave just yet. He couldn't.


	5. Chapter Five

'Al don' cry… Ye'll be ok.. I'm nothin' ta cry about..'

 

'What if I never see you again?'

 

'Hey, ye'll see me. Trust me.'

 

'When Eric?'

 

'…. I dunno.. Just don' worry alright? Ye don' need ta worry after 'avin an attack an' all.'

 

'….'

 

'Alan.'

 

'…..'

 

'C'mon now, Alan, can I at least see a li'l smile?'

 

'…'

 

'Alan?'

 

'… I love you.'

 

'Wh-Wha'?'

 

'You heard me. I said I love you.'

 

'Alan, I—'

 

'Please don't… I don't want this to hurt anymore than it already does.. Please just… Just go home, Eric.'

 

Alan stared out of the hospital window, tears still flowing down his cheeks. It had been a full day since Eric left but his heart was still aching. He wouldn't talk, Alina had to force him to eat, he wouldn't sleep. He was miserable. Finally when he thought he had found a small light that he could head towards in his darkened life, it vanished. It was blown out by the cruel winds of faith. Still, in his heart he trusted Eric and he prayed and wished that he could someday see the Scotsman again. Just to see him would brighten Alan's life slightly. Slowly he laid his head down on the window sill at choked back a whimper. He was ready to go home. He was ready to leave. But still, he wouldn't be able to leave until the doctors handed Alina his current health statistics. Alina bit her lip as she stared at her brother. Slowly she walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"A-Alan," she started slowly. "I-It was best that he left. He wasn't good for you." Alan tensed once he heard those words before he quickly whipped around.

"And how do you know that?! How?! Alina, he was so sweet and kind and he acted like he cared about me!"

"But he might not have, Alan! He's nothing to cry over!" Alan glared at his sister, his body shaking slightly.

"Hoe can you say that..? How can you say that, Alina? You didn't even know him that well."

"Neither did you!"

"Well I at least knew him better than you did!"

"Alan don't even st—"

"Ms.Humphries?" Both siblings turned around and looked at the doctor who walked into the infirmary room. 

"Yes sir?" 

"Alan should be fine. He just needs to remember to take his medicine each morning and he'll be clear."

"Wonderful."

"Can I go back to work?" Alan asked as he looked up to the doctor, hoping that maybe he would see Eric there.

"I'm sorry but no. Not just yet." The doctor said with a frown as he handed Alina Alan's file. "You should be able to start back next week." Alan stared at the doctor, tears filling his eyes before he nodded his head and bit his lip. "But you are clear to go home." The man said, trying to cheer Alan up slightly. Alan just nodded his head and slowly stood up from the chair that he was sitting in.

"I'll be in the car, Alina." Alina sighed as she watched her brother walk from the room. She wasn't going to stop him. Slowly she turned back to the doctor and smiled.

"Thank you." The doctor nodded his head.

"Here would like me to help with your bags?"

"Oh… Would you?"

"Oh sure, Ms. Humphries." He smiled as he picked up hers and Alan's bags. Slowly he two walked down the hallway and to the elevator. "Alan, he seems to be a handful."

"Oh," Alina shrugged as she walked into the elevator. "He's just sensitive.. And at the same time stubborn. It's not his fault. He just doesn't have much hope what with the Thorns and all."

"Well I can understand that." The doctor said with a nod. "I would be the same if I had the Thorns of Death." Alina nodded her head and sighed.

"I try my hardest to make him happy but I just seem to fail whenever I do. He never seems happy."

"You know, I have an anti-depressant that's guaranteed to help him become a bit happier. If you'd like I could prescribe him some." Alina looked up to the doctor. She knew what he was talking about. There were a lot of commercials on T.V. for them and she always asked Alan if he wanted to try them but he always said no. Alina bit her lip. She really just wanted her brother happy no matter what the risk was.

"I would love that."


	6. Chapter Six

Alina bit her lip as she looked down at the glass of water. If Alan found out about the anti-depressants, he would surely kill her. Slowly she picked up his medication then the anti-depressant. Both where a while tablet that looked exactly the same, so Alan hopefully wouldn't notice the difference. Carefully she picked up the glass of water and began walked upstairs. She walked down the hall, passing empty rooms, before she mad it to the very end of the hall where Alan's room was located. Slowly she knocked on the door, anxiety boiling and brewing inside of her.

"Alan?" She asked before she slowly pushed open the door. Alan's room was pitch black. All of the lights were turned off, the curtains were drawn, and soft rock played quietly in the background. Alina sighed as she walked over to the bed and sat next to the lump that she knew was Alan. "Alan, honey, I brought your medication." Alan didn't move, he just stuck his arm out from beneath his fort of blankets and misery. Alina sighed again as she dropped one pill into his hand. The anti-depressant. "Are you really going to take them dry?" Alan's hand closed as he held the pill in his hand before his arm disappeared again into the blankets and after a moment a small swallow . "Here's the other one." She said, tugging at Alan's blankets. Without even thinking twice, Alan held out his hand, took the pill, and swallowed it.

"Leave and shut the door behind you please." He said from the blankets, his voice slightly muffled. Alina sighed as she slowly stood up from Alan's bed.

"There's a glass of water here for you, okay?"

"Mhm.." Alina looked at her blanket covered brother before she sighed and slowly walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Alan had been in his blanket fort for three days on end. He didn't come out for food, he didn't come out for water, he didn't sleep. The only time he came out was to change the CDs in his stereo system. Slowly Alan inhaled. He felt so empty inside. He felt so alone. He felt like dying. He shook his head. He couldn't do that. He still had a good chance at seeing Eric again. He just had to wait two more days. He could go back to work then and he could possibly see Eric again. Slowly he rolled over in bed, slowly peeking his head out form his hiding spot. He stared at the stereo system as he listened to the disks automatically change. The silence was replaced by the familiar beginning chords of Janis Joplin's Cry Baby. Tears filled Alan's green eyes and he sniffled softly. He missed Eric so much. So much that it was physically hurting him.

"Cry baby.." Alan sang along softly along with the song, his voice trembling violently. "Cry baby.." Slowly he rolled over and began sobbing into his pillow. "Oh cry baby, cry cry ba—" Alan cut himself off with as he sobbed harder. "E-Eri-i-i-ic!" Alina looked up as she heard Alan sob. She sighed and shook her head.

"I don't know what to do, Mary." Alina spoke into the phone as she changed into her nightgown. "All he's been doing is sobbing his eyes out and listening to rock music. I'm afraid to see what he looks like under that blanket because the hasn't eaten in three whole days!"

"Alina, I don't think those anti-depressants are working." Mary responded back. "If he's been sobbing for three days. I'm pretty sure it's because they're just making him even more depressed."

"Of course they're not! It's because of that stupid Eric guy, breaking my Alan's heart!"

"Uh.. He.. Alina he just had to go ho—"

"He broke Alan's heart. Then again, I did tell Alan he was trouble."

"… You're fucking stupid."

"No 'm not!"

"Yes, you really are! Half of the problem is because he's heart broken and the other half is because of those anti-depressants!" Alina sighed, shaking her head as she put her hair up into a ponytail.

"It's because he fell for that stupid Scotsman…"

Alan sniffled slightly as the album changed. He let out a small whimper as he hugged onto his pillow, nuzzling his face against it as more tears streamed down his face. He just wanted Eric to hold him, to love him, to never let him go. He barely even knew Eric but his heart belonged to him. Eric was capable of destroying his little heart but he was also capable of nurturing it and caring for it. Alan coughed slightly as he heard a small chock come from one of his windows. What in the hell was that? Chock chock chock. There to was again! Slowly he slipped out o this bed for the first time in what seemed like ages and shuffled over to his window. Chock. Slowly he drew one of the curtains and opened up the window. Down below him stood Grell Sutcliff. Alan blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses as he stared at him.

"Alan! Darling! Finally you've answered!"

"S-Sutcliff Senpai?"

"Yes?"

"Why're you here? It's late!"

"Eric wanted me to come tell you something." Alan's heart fluttered. Eric? So he really did care about Alan. 

"Wait wait wait, how did you know where my house was?!" Alan asked suddenly.

"I took a peek into your file! Now come down here, silly! It's urgent!" Alan blinked a few times before he quickly nodded his head.

"One second!" He said before shutting the window and quickly rushing down the stairs. Once he got outside he felt so much better. The summer night air filled his lungs and made him feel amazing. Quickly he ran over to Grell, itching to know what Eric wanted to tell him, itching to see Eric again. "I'm here." He spoke breathlessly as he looked up at Grell. "I'm here, what did Eric want?" Grell blinked a few times before she wrapped Alan in a tight hug.

"Goodness gracious, Alan, you look like you've been crying for days!" Alan blushed. 

"I.. I have been.."

"Oh honey," Grell purred, hugging Alan tighter. "Poor little lovesick puppy. But don't worry! I've come to save the both of you!" Alan smiled as he pulled away and looked up at Grell.

"Well then tell me! What did he want?"

"He wants you to meet him outside of the offices tomorrow the you'll go from there."

"What time?"

"Six thirty sharp." Alan nodded his head, his heart beating wildly.

"Thank you so much." Alan said with a small smile. "I was so afraid I'd never see him again, thank you." Grell smiled simply, taking Alan's hands in hers.

"You're quite welcome my dear Alan. Now go get some sleep, you've got a busy day tomorrow morning." Alan nodded, thanking Grell again before he started to walk inside again. He knew he had to sleep but deep inside Alan knew that he wouldn't be sleeping at all.


	7. Chapter Seven

Alan only got about two hours of sleep that night. Nonetheless he still woke up early and got ready for his day. At exactly six o'clock Alan left a note on Alina's door and took the spare car. He was so excited to see Eric again, he couldn't take it. He tried not too drive too fast but he did go about ten miles above the speed limit. Once he got to the dispatch he parked his car and quickly looked around for Eric. His heart pounded in his chest, his legs felt weak, his breath was caught in his throat. Suddenly there he was. There was Eric standing outside of the offices just as Grell said. Alan smiled as he felt his eyes brim with tears.

"Eric!" He called out before he quickly ran to the Scotsman. Eric looked up, a grin quickly spreading across his lips. Alan, without any warning, ran straight into the older reaper's arms. He nuzzled his head against Eric's chest as he felt tears begin to stream down his cheeks. He gripped onto Eric tightly, letting out a small but happy whimper as he felt both of Eric's arms wrap around him. "I m-missed you so m-much!" He choked out. Eric smiled, showering Alan in small, sweet kisses as he did.

"I missed ye too, Alan." Slowly he lifted Alan's chin with his index finger and thumb as he looked into Alan's green eyes. "Now why're ye cryin' silly boy?" Alan let out a small giggle as he sniffled and pied his eyes with the back of his hand. 

"I'm just so happy to s-see you." Eric's heart melted. That was the sweetest thing he had ever heard, Gently he pulled Alan against him and hugged him tightly, rubbing his back as he did. 

"I'm 'appy ta see ye too, beautiful." Eric paused for a moment as he continued to rub Alan's back. Suddenly he got slightly worried. Was Alan.. Thinner? "'ave ye gotten smaller Al?" Alan's eyes widened. That's right. He hadn't been eating.

"W-Well… I.. Haven't really in.. Four days.." Eric's eyes grew wide. 

"Wha'?!" He asked, squeezing Alan slightly. "Alan why?!"

"I couldn't find the motivation to do so…"

"Oh Al.." Eric whispered, kissing his head of brunette hair. They both sat in a silence for a moment, Alan sweetly nuzzling Eric's chest as he mentally tried to reassure him that it was ok.

"Come on." Alan whispered. "Take me away from here." Eric smiled slightly before he scooped Alan up into his arms and carried him to his truck. 

"I'll bring ye back 'ere when we're done so ye can get yer car. Alrigh'?"

"Alright." Alan cooed, laying his head on Eric's chest. It was funny to Alan. To think that they had met in a hospital room and really only knew each other for a day. Eric opened the passenger door and slipped Alan in, buckling him up once he did. Gently he kissed the brunette's cheek before he walked around to the driver's side and slipped in, starting his car up once he did. Slowly Alan leaned over and laid his head in Eric's lap. Eric's heart stopped. Alan was so sweet, probably the sweetest thing he had ever seen. Carefully he took one hand off of the wheel and stroked Alan's hair gently. The brunette carefully nuzzled his head up towards Eric's hand, letting out a small purr.

"Ye seem ta like tha'." Eric said in a gentle tone.

"Mhm." Alan hummed back. The blonde smiled as he carefully ran his fingers through Alan's head, making the brunette purr again. The two drove a for a while and when Alan looked up he saw that they were surrounded by a forrest full of gorgeous flowers and plants and trees. Carefully he looked out the window, gawking at what he saw.

"I remembered 'ow ye said ye liked nature." Eric said as he kept driving until the came to a small outing where a small home in construction sat. Eric turned off the car and walked over to Alan's side and let him out. Quickly Alan ran over to the home and looked around. It was like something he saw in his occasional dreams. He turned to Eric, eyes wide with wonder before he looked back at the house. "Been buildin' it for about six months, Ronald an' I. We just need ta finish the kitchen and I'll be set to move in."

"Eric it's gorgeous." He mused. "Surrounded by wisteria flowers and spider lilies and erica flowers. Those are my favorite. God, it's—" Alan stopped as he looked at Eric. "It's gorgeous." Eric chuckled.

"Eh, it isn't much." He shrugged as he walked over to Alan and wrapped his arms around him. "Wanna go take a look in tha 'ouse?" Alan nodded quickly. Eric eagerly led Alan inside. It was all made of gorgeously carved woods and warming colors. All the time that Eric was showing off his nearly complete house, a question buzzed in the back of his mind. After the small tour was finished he let Alan look it all over again before he placed a small kiss at the corner of Alan's lips. "Whattaya think?"

"It's… Gorgeous." He said softly, hugging Eric gently.

"When Ronald and I finish, ow'd ye like ta move in with me?" Eric's heart was racing. What if Alan said no? What if he left Eric? What if he left Eric for someone? Alan's jaw dropped. Was Eric being serious. Slowly he covered his mouth with his hands and nodded quickly. Eric smiled. "Really?"

"Of course! Do you see how absolutely wonderful it is? I would love to!" 

Eric grinned as he felt every inch of him fill up with pure joy. He was hoping that Alan would say yes. He couldn't hand being in a house alone. But Alan agreed to staying with him so he wouldn't have to worry about it. He couldn't wait until the house was finished. He couldn't wait until he and Alan could share a bed, when they could spend their nights talking, when they could be together everyday. He was so excited. In all of Eric's excitement and happiness, he suddenly pushed his lips to Alan's in a passionate kiss. At first Alan was slightly taken aback, but he quickly adapted. Gently Eric wrapped his arms around Alan, holding the reaper close to him. Alan, being as short as he was, had to stand on his toes slightly so Eric wouldn't have to bend all the way down; even then Alan was too short. Alan's small arms slowly reached up and gently laced themselves around Eric's neck. It was pure bliss. Everything about it was just perfect down to the very last detail. After a moment Alan pulled away and looked up at Eric through his glasses as he caught his breath.

"I.. Liked that a lot." Eric when he heard Alan's comment.

"I can say tha same." He said as he pecked Alan's lips once. "'Ow about he go outside, yeh?"

"I think that'd be wonderful." Alan cooed in response. Ever since Alan was a small child he absolutely adored gardening and nature. Something about it was so enchanting. Eric smiled and lead Alan out of the house. In all honesty, the Scotsman had only done a bit of exploring in the woods and he knew of a gorgeous glenn nearby that he hoped to show Alan. There was so much he wanted to experience with Alan, so much he wanted to show him. Alan looked around, a smile plastered on his face as he inhaled the sweet summer air. He felt enchanted. It was probably the best feeling he had felt in a while. Slowly Eric reached over and took Alan's hand in his timidly. Alan smiled, gently lacing his fingers with Eric's.

"Yer a cutie." Alan blushed bright red, his eyes widening slightly.

"I-I'm not. I swear I'm n-not." Eric chuckled, kissing Alan's warm cheek.

"Yeh ye are." Alan gently hid his face against Eric's shoulder. The Scotsman smiled as he placed a kiss on Alan's head before he began walking with Alan. The brunette lifted his head as he looked at the path that they were walking on. It was such a lovely area. Alan couldn't believe that any of it was real.

"It's amazing here, Eric." Alan said softly as he reached up and brushed his delicate fingers against a tree. "It really captures the beauty of nature. It's just perfect."

"I thought ye would like it." He purred as he gently nuzzled Alan's head, continuing to walk as he did.

"Yes, it's like.. I don't know how to describe it but it's my dream land." He said with a content sigh. "It's so calm and peaceful and gorgeous. It's somewhere that I can really relax. Somewhere that I can garden and explore and interact with nature." Softly Eric slipped his hand from Alan's and wrapped his arm around the smaller reaper's middle. "And the erica flowers here are gorgeous! They're in bloom and they're.. They're just perfect!"

"I've never 'eard of an eric flower."

"They're not rare or anything," Alan said as he looked up at the many ericas that bloomed in the trees. "They're just not commonly known. They're my favorite flower, you know?"

"Is tha' so?"

"Mhm."

"Why?" Alan looked up at Eric. He had never been asked why the ericas were his favorite. He gave a small smile as he looked up at the flowers again. 

"Do you know what they mean?" He asked softly. "Do you know what the ericas mean in the language of the flowers?" Slowly Eric shook his head.

"No, I don' believe so."

"They mean solitude." Eric looked down at Alan who was staring up at the flowers. "In the language of the flowers they mean solitude… Everyone is alone, Eric. From the moment they're born to they moment they die." Eric paused for a moment as he looked up at the flowers as well. The ericas, though they meant solitude, bloomed in packs of flowers. There was never one single flower, there were always flowers around it.

"It's true tha' people are alone," Eric started slowly, his grip tightening slightly around Alan. "But look at tha ericas, Alan. They don' bloom just one flower. They bloom in many. They are alone but there're other flowers around it ta help it. Just like you an' I Alan." Alan looked away from the flowers and up to Eric. He wasn't expecting Eric to say that at all. Then again, he didn't know what he was expecting Eric to sat. It warmed his heart though.

"You're right." Alan said as he gently leaned against Eric. "Quite right indeed."

The two continued to walk until they came across a glenn. Ala grinned once he saw and quickly ran out to look at the flowing water that was below them. Alan could feel the spray form the waterfall nearby and from all the water crashing into each other gracefully. It was gorgeous. Eric smiled, seeing Alan so excited like that was precious. Slowly he walked over to the brunette and wrapped his arms around him. Gently he placed small, featherlike kisses on his neck. Alan smiled, placing his hands on top of Eric's. It was so beautiful. Slowly Eric brought his lips up to Alan's ear, he placed a small kiss at the earlobe before he whispered, "I love you." Alan's heart stopped. Eric loved him? Slowly a grin played across his lips and he had to bite down on his lip to keep from squealing in excitement.

"I love you too." He whispered back. Eric smiled before he lead Alan over to a small, tree covered opening where they could watch the water. Alan sat down, folding his legs as he watched the water. Eric smiled before he laid down at let his head fall into Alan's lap. The brunette smiled before he felt his hands make their way to Eric's blonde hair. Gently he played with the golden locks and ran his fingers across the braids left side of his head. Eric purred, nuzzling Alan's hand as Alan had done to Eric earlier.

"Ye're amazin', Al." He said softly. "Truly amazin'."

"I can say the same for you, Eric." He cooed in respond. The Scotsman opened one eye and smiled up at Alan, causing the brunette to blush slightly. Eric gave a small chuckle, kissing the palm of Alan's hand before he closed his eyes again.

In time Eric fell asleep curled up in Alan's lap. Alan found it funny, honestly. Such a big, tough looking man was like a teddy bear. Alan continued to gently play with his blonde hair until an idea came to mind. Alan looked up and around. They were surrounded by flowers. Slowly he leaned over and picked some before he slowly and carefully began weaving them into a flower crown of blues and purples. He worked on it until his fingers hurt and by that time he still wasn't quite finished. He continued to make the crown until it looked perfect to him. He smiled once he finished before he slowly placed on Eric's head. Alan cocked his head for a moment before he smiled. The crown looked wonderful on Eric. Gently he kissed Eric's cheek then played with his large hands as he waited for the Scotsman to wake up. Eric, though, was fast asleep. Alan, in his boredom, ended up making a flower crown for himself. He finished it and slipped it on, sitting with it proudly upon his head.

"Well don' ye look prettier than ye already are?" Alan jumped slightly, not realizing that Eric was awake.

"Oh goodness," Alan giggled, one of his delicate hands placed over his heart. "You scared me. How long have you been awake?"

"Not too terribly long. Just a few minutes." Slowly Eric sat up, flower crown still placed on his head, causing Alan to let out a small giggle. Eric raised an eyebrow. "Wha'?" Eric cocked his head a bit, only to feel the flower crown slip off of his head.

"Oh what a shame," Alan pouted. "I made it just for you." Eric looked at the crown then looked up to the one Alan wore. Slowly he smiled and slipped his back on again. 

"Thank ye, Alan."

"You're welcome!" He chirped as he hugged onto Eric, placing a kiss on his cheek. Eric chuckled, hugging the small reaper back. Alan looked up at the sky. It was getting late and it had taken a while to drive all the way out to this wonderland of nature. "We should probably start getting back to the dispatch.." Alan said softly. Eric cocked his head. Alan looked so sad, it hurt his heart.

"C'mon now, Alan, it'll be alrigh'!" Eric said softly. Alan nodded his head. He looked up to Eric and gently pressed his lips to his as he laced his arms around Eric's neck. Eric kissed the brunette back, once again enjoying the feel of his lips against Alan's. Slowly Alan pulled away, his forehead pressed softly to Eric's.

"Can I say you again tomorrow?" Alan asked softly, his eyes closed. 

"I've got overtime tomorrah night." Eric said with a slight sigh. "But, 'ow abou' tomorrow night we meet back at tha house?"

"Eric, I don't know how to get here. How will I find it? Where is it?" Eric smiled as he brought his lips to Alan's forehead.

"It's a place that only we know."

"A place that only we know." Alan repeated slowly, softly as if he didn't want to hurt the words. Alan liked that. A place that only they knew. A place where Alina couldn't find them, a place where Alan wouldn't be hurt, a place that was peaceful, a place where Alan could see Eric, a place that only they knew.


	8. Chapter Eight

'It's a place that only we know.'

 

'A place that only we know.'

 

'It's a place that only we know.'

 

'A place that only we know.'

 

'A place that only we know.''

 

'That only we know.'

 

'That only we know.'

 

'That only we know.'

 

"A place that only we know." Alan said softly as he mindlessly played with his fingers. "A place that only we know." He loved the sound of that. A place that only he and Eric knew. A place that only they knew. Alan bit down on his lip, closing his eyes as he thought of Eric. Eric, the love of his life. Alan had never really felt the feeling of love before but suddenly he felt it around Eric. It was all so new and wonderful to him. He couldn't wait to return to that place that only they knew.

Eric sat in the light of Ronald's home as he slowly drank a the rest of his Scotch. He was so worn out. After he dropped Alan back off at the dispatch he immediately drove back into the woods with Ronald and the two began building again. They built until midnight, when Ronald finally crashed, and Eric took him home. The younger reaper woke up just when they got home and the two began drinking and talking all night. Slowly he looked up to the clock and ran a hand through his hair, sighing slightly as he did. He had already seen Alan, why did he miss him so badly already? Slowly he stretched and sat down his glasses before he looked to a half awake Ronald. 

"I'm gonna go 'ome." He said before he gave a small yawn. "'Ve got overtime tomorrah an' all."

"Ah.. Yeah.." Ronald said as he sat up a little to go walk his older brother like figure to the door. "Forgot about that."

"I nearly did too, honestly." He said with a slight chuckle before he ruffled Ronald's hair slightly. "Ye best be gettin' some sleep, Ronnie boy."

"Oh I will. Trust me." Eric gave a small smile before he sleepily walked out to his truck. He climbed into the truck and started it up, making sure Ronald got back in before he began driving away. Eric had known Ronald for as long as he could remember. They had grown very close to each other and worked on most everything together. Rarely were the away from each other. Eric safely got home, turned off his car, and walked into the small house that was almost finished with construction. The Scotsman slipped off his coat and set it down on the couch only to find a small sweater sitting on the arm of the couch. He smiled, recognizing it as Alan's. Slowly he picked it up, the smell of sweet ericas greeting him. It was wonderful. It smelt like Alan. Slowly he buried his face in it, inhaling slowly as he took in the scent of his petite lover. It felt like forever he had seen him even though it really hadn't been. Eric held onto the small sweater before he walked back to the single bedroom he had in the house. A bedroom he hoped that he and Alan could share. A bed that he hoped he and Alan could share. Slowly he laid down, looking at the flower crown that he hung on the headboard. Alan was so precious to him. Everything about him, Eric cherished. Even the small things that shouldn't have mattered to him. Eric laid the small sweater beside him in bed, inhaling the sweet sweet smell of Alan. The Scotsman yawned as he stretched out, wrapping an arm around the sweater. 

Eric fell asleep almost immediately whereas Alan stayed up. His mind was racing and he found it near impossible to sleep. Then again, how would he be able to? Just as he thought he could fall asleep his mind drifted to the thought of Eric and he was up again, his heart fluttering. The brunette sat in his room wrapped in warm blankets, pretending they were Eric's strong arms wrapped around him instead. Ala laid his head against his shoulders as he sighed contently. It felt so nice to have someone who loved him. In fact, it felt absolutely amazing. The brunette sighed contently as he leaned back in the lamplight. He could hardly wait to see Eric again. His heart was beating harder just with mere thought of him. Slowly the brunette stood up from his bed that was much too large for him and shuffled over to his balcony. He opened the doors and slowly walked out. He smiled. The thought of Eric calling up to him from below was just wonderful. Slowly Alan leaned against the stone railing and hummed happily. Eric. He couldn't get him out of his mind. Eric. That was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He let out a content coo as he slowly shuffled back inside.

"Romeo.. Romeo.." He sighed contently as he shut the doors to his balcony. "Where for art thou, Romeo?" Slowly he walked over to his book shelf, deciding to read himself to sleep. After a moment of looking through book spines he finally picked out Edgar Allen Poe's The Premature Burial. Slowly he slipped back into his bed as he opened the book and began reading. Alan thought it funny. People never expected him to read things like Edgar Allen Poe. Most people expected him to read Shakespeare and what not, which he did. He did enjoy both writers but Edgar Allen Poe was a favorite of his. The brunette read until he finished and once he did he picked out Hamlet, a favorite of his by William Shakespeare. He didn't get very far when he finally fell asleep, only past a few pages.

Eric woke up early the next morning, yawning as he did. He hated early mornings. But still, the sweet smell of Alan greeted him and it suddenly wasn't all that bad. Softly he nuzzled the sweater before he stood up and slowly stretched, scratching the back of his head as he did. He scratched the back of his head as he yawned, rubbing his eyes. He fished around in the bed for his glasses for a moment. He found them eventually and slipped them on. He looked around his room, enjoying the warm feel of the room. Though, of course, it would've been warmer if Alan were there with him. The Scotsman yawned before he slowly shuffled to the bathroom and started a shower, the beginning of his morning routine. Everything he did, though, his mind would drift to Alan. He was obsessed with the smaller reaper and he wanted to spend each waking moment with him. Of course, that wasn't an option. Even when Alan was able to go back to work, they would be working in two completely different fields. Still, somewhere in his heart there was a burning hope inside of him that he would see Alan earlier then their plan. 

The shrill ring of the phone woke up the brunette. He gave a small groan as he lifted himself from the blankets and reached over to pick it up.

"Hello..?" Alan answered groggily into the phone.

"Mister Humphries," the voice on the other line was William T. Spears, Alan's boss. He recognized the voice immediately and woke up quickly once he did. "I hate to wake you this early and I know you're still in recovery for one last day, but would you mind coming in to teach a class today? I had to suspend Mister Sutcliff and I would do it myself but I'm afraid I'm doing field work with Mister Knox today." Alan gave a small smile as he wrapped his finger around the telephone cord.

"Yes sir, Mister Spears, that's just fine. When should I be there?"

"One hour please. I'm terribly sorry for the late notice but I'm sure you understand."

"Of course." Alan said warmly, his heart fluttering. He did enjoy his job but it was even better since he found out Eric worked there too. "Let me get ready and I'll be on my way."

"Thank you." William was the first to end the call, simply hanging up without a simple goodbye. Quickly Alan dashed from his room and to Alina's.

"Hey," he said as he poked his head into her room. "I just got called into work so I'm gonna be going in a few minutes, ok?"

"But—" Alan didn't even let his sister finish before he was rushing back to his bathroom. He showered, enjoying the warm water against his skin. Alan loved the feel of water. It made him feel less lonely. The young reaper got out of the shower, dried off, and quickly got dressed. Once he did he walked over to the phone and bit his lip. Did he want to call and tell Eric that he was going to work? Or did he want to leave it a surprise. After a moment he smiled and walked away from the phone. He trotted down stairs to the kitchen where he made himself some toast before he grabbed his keys and walked out to the car. Alina did everything in her power to stop her younger brother but got nowhere. Alan just ignored her. He was excited and he wasn't going to stay home because of Alina. The brunette got to the dispatch, looking around fro Eric's truck when he got out of his car. Unfortunately, he hadn't arrived yet but he knew he would. 

"Alan~! Sweetie~!" The brunette looked up only to find the redhead, Grell Sutcliff, charging towards him. He gave a small smile before Grell wrapped him in her arms. "Oh darling, darling boy! We were all so worried about you! How are you?"

"I'm very good, thank you." Alan said with a smile. "Glad to be back."

"Good, good," Grell cooed before she pulled away slightly to look down at Alan. "Does Eric know you're here?"

"No," he giggled. "I wanted to surprise him."

"I'm sure he'll be very—"

"Mr. Sutcliff, I think it would be best if you gave Mr. Humphries a bit more space. He did just have an attack." Grell looked over her shoulder only to find their boss, William T. Spears, walking towards them. "Besides, I know I gave you paperwork this morning." The redhead pouted.

"I just want to see my darling Alan." She huffed. 

"Many people are thrilled that Mr. Humphries is back but we need to continue working." Grell sighed before she turned on her heel and walked away. "Alan," William started in a stern voice. "My office. Now." Alan nodded his head before following William. They walked up the stairs to William's office and entered behind the older reaper. Once he shut the door he turned around only to find William's arms latched tightly around him. "Alan I was so worried about you, oh my god." Alan paused for a moment and smiled before he gently hugged William back.

"I'm alright, sir. It's no big deal."

"The infirmary doctor called and said it was pretty bad.." William said softly. "All of us were worried out of our right minds." Alan gave a small smile.

"Don't worry, I'm fine now. I'm just glad to be back."

"We are too, Alan." The brunette smiled before he slowly and carefully squirmed out of his boss' arms. 

"Well, what class am I working in today?"

"Room five hundred and eight. They're juniors in the academy so they won't be too much trouble."

"Alright." He nodded before William pushed a stack of paper's in Alan's direction.

"The roster is at the top. Give me the absences at the end of the day and I'll turn them in to the academy."

"Yes sir." 

"You'll be teaching about Cinematic Records and Death Scythes today. That should be enough to cover them but if you run out mater—"

"'Ey boss, I 'ave the paper work an'—" The Scotsman who was walking into his boss' office stopped in his tracks, paperwork almost falling from his hands as he looked at the brunette across the room. Was that really Alan? It had to have been. Alan gave the other a smile and a small finger wave before Eric set down his paperwork and rushed over to Alan, gathering him in his arms once he did. "Alan! What're ye doin' 'ere?"

"I got called in to teach a class today." Alan giggled as he hugged onto Eric.

"Well why didn' ye tell me?"

"I wanted to surprise you." Eric's heart melted when he hear those words. Softly he placed a kiss on Alan's head, nuzzling him softly as he did.

"Ye're so sweet, Al." He purred, rubbing Alan's small back. "'M glad yer back." The couple was interrupted suddenly by William clearing his throat, hiding his smile with his hand as he did. "Oh, righ'," Eric smiled as he slowly, reluctantly let go of Alan and grabbed his paperwork. "Finished all this las' nigh'. It's all in order an' wha' not."

"Thank you, Mr. Slingby." William nodded before handing him another stack of paperwork. Eric sighed as he looked at it. 

"No prob'm." Alan smiled before he picked up his stack of paperwork.

"No off with the both of you." William said as he pushed up his glasses. "Have a good day."

"Yes sir!" Alan chirped before he trotted out of the office, Eric following behind him.

"'M so glad ta see ye, Al."

"I can say the same for you." Alan answered sweetly. The Scotsman smiled as he leaned over and kissed Alan's head. 

"Sweetie pie." Alan blushed bright red. "'Ere, I'll drop off my paperwork at my office then 'ow about I walk ye ta yer class." Alan smiled. It sounded like they were at the academy.

"Alright." He cooed. The younger reaper followed close behind his new found lover until they got into his office. Eric quickly set down his paperwork and walked back out to Alan again. 

"So wha' class 're ye workin' in today?"

"Room five hundred eight." Alan said as the two began walking again. "Uhm.. Do you want to meet up for lunch? According to my schedule I have a thirty minute lunch break at one o'clock sharp." Eric smiled, leaning down to kiss Alan's slightly red cheek. He was so timid. It was absolutely precious. 

"I'd love tha'." Eric said warmly. Alan smiled up at him over all of his papers. Seeing that the papers were a little too much for small Alan, he gently took the papers from his lover and continued walking.

"Eric, you didn't have to do that." He smiled with a soft blush. Eric shrugged.

"They looked a lil' too big for ye, loov." Alan blushed before he softly but playfully nudged Eric. The Scotsman smiled before they arrived at the classroom. Alan unlocked the door and opened it up, turning on the light as he did. "Where d'ye want me ta put there?" 

"On the desk please, darling." He purred. Eric smiled, kissing Alan's head before he walked over to the desk and set all the paperwork down.

The Scotsman walked back over to the smaller reaper, who was then writing his name on the white board, and slowly brought him into his arms. Ala blushed bright red as he looked up at Eric through his rounded glasses. Eric just smiled at him, bringing one hand to his cheek as he did. His thumb softly rubbed his lover's cheek before Eric leaned down and caught Alan's lips with his. The brunette gasped softly but quickly adjusted to the kiss and wrapped his arms around the muscular reaper. Eric gave a low hum of approval before he ran a hand through Alan's hair. He smelt so sweet and his hair was so soft. Everything about it was great. Alan purred softly against the kiss, savoring each and every moment as he leaned up into his lover's touch. The two ha something amazing, something wonderful, something rare. The two had an undying love for each other that would never fade away. That would stick with them forever. Alan stood up on his toes and tilted his head to deepen the kiss slightly. Eric smiled against his lover's soft lips before his hands traveled his back. 

"Uhm.. Excuse me..?" Alan jumped slightly and quickly pulled away from the kiss, his lips slightly swollen. "Are you Mr. Humphries? Mr. Spears said we would be taking your class today."


	9. Chapter Nine

"You know, Eric, that little boyfriend of yours is just the cutest thing~! I have this gorgeous white dress that he would just look perfect in! It has these cute little bows and frills and it has a lilac bow to go with it and it's just so perfect for little Al—"

"Grell, ye ain't dressin' me Alan up in a dress." He chuckled, pawing the redhead's face slightly. Grell gave a small huff as she looked at Eric, putting her red lipsticked lips. "Ye know 'e wouldn' like tha'."

"Yeah but he would look so precious~!"

"'M not makin' 'im do somethin' 'e doesn't wanna do." Grell sighed, twirling a piece of red hair on her long, delicate finger. 

"You're no fun." Eric smiled, shaking his head.

"Ye can talk ta Alan 'bout it but 'm sure 'e'll say tha same."

"Well I will ask him!" Grell retaliated, sticking out her tongue as she did. Eric smiled, shaking his head as he did. Grell looked at Eric for a moment before he gave a small smile. "You love him a lot, don't you?" Eric looked up at Grell, his expression softening as he did. Slowly he nodded.

"I love 'im so much. 'E's everythin' ta me." Grell gave a small coo. 

"That's precious, Eric. You've never been this passionate about anyone else." The Scotsman chuckled before he ran a hand through his blonde hair. 

"Yeh well…" He smiled. "Alan's special. I care 'bout 'im more than I care 'bout myself. 'E's my everythin'. My angel. My knight in shinin' armor." Grell gave a small coo, toying with a pen before she took Eric's wrist and, in red, wrote 'Eric loves Alan' with a heart surrounding it. The Scotsman looked up and cocked his head as he did. 

"Just to make you two even more cute~!" She chirped. Eric chuckled before he slowly got up from his desk and stretched. "Now where're you off to, handsome?"

"'M gonna go check up on tha sweet Róisín." Grell smiled before she hopped off of Eric's desk and chased after him.

 

"Can I come?"

 

"I don' see why not." He smiled as he looked at Grell who had caught up with him. "Alan loves company an' all."

 

"He's so precious," Grell sighed happily. "Y'know, I wouldn't mind going with him."

 

"'E's mine, Grelly." Eric half snarled, trying to keep it light hearted. "Don' you go takin' 'im from me now." Grell gave a small giggled before she placed a small slap at Eric's arm.

 

"I was kidding, Eric honey!" She giggled. "I wouldn't dare lay hands on him! He is adorable though."

 

"Tha' I can't deny." The redhead and the Scotsman finally came across the room Alan was teaching. The both of them looked through the window, smiling goofily at Alan. It took the brunette a moment before he looked up and saw his lover and Grell. The smaller reaper smiled and gave a small finger wave. The class, who were busy doing classwork, didn't notice the small gesture. Eric watched Alan say something to the class before the small reaper ran out of the class and right into Eric's arms. The Scotsman chuckled, rubbing his back as he did. "'Ey sweet boy!" He grinned. Alan smiled, kissing Eric'c cheeks and chin as he did.

 

"What're you doing here, silly?" He giggled, resting his head against Eric's chest. 

 

"I wanted ta visit ye." He purred, nuzzling the brunette as he did. Alan smiled before he reached up and ran a hand through Eric's hair. The older reaper purred and nuzzled his hand softly, wanting to be petted more. 

 

"That's sweet. But I do need to keep teaching, darling." He said with a slight pout. 

 

"I know. I'll see you at lunch alright?" Alan smiled. The two sounded like little school children. 

 

"Alright, darling boy." A small blush spread across his cheeks before he leaned down and kissed the brunette's head.

 

"How're tha kids in there?" Grell asked as she poked her head into the doorway, eying young man who had been eyeballing her through the window earlier.

 

"They're somewhat well behaved. The ones toward the back are a bit of a trouble." Eric glanced into the class room, looking at a row of kids at the back of the room. The Scottish reaper scoffed, rolling his eyes before he kissed Alan's temple. 

 

"Damn kids.." The smaller reaper smiled before he stood up on his toes, kissing Eric's cheek before he sighed and looked up at Eric.

 

"I better go before they start a fire or something." He said with a slight pout. Eric chuckled, ruffling Alan's hair before he wrapped him in a hug. The smaller reaper smiled, gasping for breath slightly in the tight hug before he managed to wiggle out of Eric's tight grasp. Softly he placed a small kiss at Eric's lips before turning around and walking towards the door. Just before entering, though, Alan stopped and blew the Scotsman a kiss. "Until later, my love." He cooed sweetly before slipping into the classroom.

 

Eric stared at Alan through the window for a moment, dazed over by his lover's sweet actions. He was completely enveloped in Alan and he planned to keep it that way. The Scotsman sighed contently, closing his eyes as he took in the lingering smell of erica flowers and nettle tea; the familiar scent of Alan Humphries. After a moment he turned on his heel and began almost floating to his office. The redhead who had tagged along with him let out a small giggle before she skipped after her office buddy. The Scotsman stretched slightly before he sat down at his desk and propped his feet up in between his paperwork and Grell. The redhead smiled, poking Eric's shoe slightly before she looked at him through his blue tinted glasses.

 

"If only you two could stay like that forever.."


	10. Chapter Ten

"You did turn in all of your paperwork right?" Alan asked as he walked out to his car. Eric nodded his head with a small chuckle before he ruffled Alan's hair slightly.

 

"Course I did, Al." He smiled. Alan gave a small giggle before he stood up on his toes and gave a small kiss at Eric's cheek.

 

"Just making sure." He cooed. Eric gave a small sigh before he gently rubbed the back of Alan's neck. "What?" The brunette asked as he leaned his neck slightly against Eric's hand.

 

"I jus' don' wan' ye ta have ta spend a momen' with her." Alan stared up at Eric. It took him a second to realize that Eric was talking about Alina. Softly he smiled before taking Eric's hand and kissed it softly. 

 

"Eric, I know you don't like her but she's my sister. She might not be the best person but.. She's still my sister. She's only trying to look out for me." Eric gave another sigh before he leaned down and kissed Alan's pale cheek.

 

"She jus'..." He sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair. "I dunno. 'Ve gotta really bad feeling about her." Alan smiled before he pulled Eric into a small hug, nuzzling his chest softly.

 

"Eric, darling, don't worry. It's only Alina." He smiled before kissing Eric softly and slowly opening his car door. "I'll see you tonight, ok? Call me when you get off overtime." 

 

"Alright princess." He teased light heartedly. 

 

The Scottish reaper watched Alan drive out of the Dispatch parking lot and only hoped that Alan would get home safe. Just the thought of Alan alone on the road was very nerve racking. Still he slowly walked into the Dispatch again. William handed him his paperwork and Eric went to work, occasionally doodling Alan's name on his papers with small roses and erica flowers around it. He knew William wouldn't be happy but he couldn't help it. Whenever he was without the brunette his mind instantly began thinking about him. 

 

"Alina?" Alan called into the dark house. "I'm home." No response. Strange. Alan shrugged simply before he walked out the back door only to find where Alina was. There she was,sitting on the porch, head against her knees, cigarette trapped between her pointer and middle finger. She didn't move when Alan walked out of the house and it took her a while to realize that Alan was standing on the porch. 

 

"Shit," she sighed as she quickly butted out her cigarette. "I shouldn't be smoking around you." 

 

"I didn't realize you smoked." Alina sighed as she slowly stood up and took a step away from her younger brother, trying to make sure he didn't inhale the smoke or the smell of smoke. 

 

"Yeah.. Five years now and I really need to stop... What with you and... The Thorns.." Alan tensed slightly at the words. Around Eric he had completely forgotten about The Thorns. but Alina was determined to be so real about everything. Like The Thorns. 

 

"I'll be fine."

 

"No you won't, Alan. Death is... Inevitable." She sighed. Alan glared at his sister. "Alan please don't. Please. I love you so much but you're not going to be able to fight this. You're either going to die or you're going to die trying."

 

"That's not true!" He snapped back. "It isn't true! I'm going to survive! I swear I am!" Alina gave her brother a sad look, an almost pitying look. 

 

"Alan.." She said softly. "Please.." Without another word the brunette turned on his heel and ran up the stairs. His heart hurt. His heart hurt so badly. How could his own sister say that he wasn't going to survive? How? Nonetheless he tried hard to shake it off. Alina was everything he had for so many years since his parents passed on. Even when they were alive, Alina was really his only friend. Suddenly, though, she was so different. She wasn't the Alina she used to be. Then again, neither was Alan. Alan used to be so full of life and happy until the Thorns started getting worse. Then he shut everyone out and was much more depressed. Honestly, until he found Eric he was so... Depressed and distant. For whatever reason, Eric changed that. 

 

The brunette shut his bedroom door, locking it once he did. Slowly he inhaled and rubbed his temple before he slipped off his work jacket and loosened his tie. He couldn't wait until he could go see Eric. That's all he wanted at the moment. Slowly he began unbuttoning his dress shirt as he walked over to his closet, looking through what he could wear. Eric hadn't really seen him in casual clothes. The reaper carefully picked out his shirt and jeans. The shirt was cream colored and slightly thin with long sleeves. He liked wearing it, it was very comfortable. Carefully he slipped off his dress shirt before slipping on the cream colored shirt and the dark jeans. He stretched again before he looked down at his socks that were slightly too big for him. Eric would call him when he go to ff of overtime so he had some time on his hands. Carefully he walked over to his bookshelf, pulled out Flowers for Algernon, then sat on his bed as he opened his book. He read for hours, getting close to the end of the book before he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

 

"Mm?" He asked, forgetting the door was locked.

 

"Alan, open tha door." Alan cocked his head for a moment before he quickly scrambled out of bed and opened the door only to find Eric standing there with a small grin on his face. 

 

"Eric!" Alan giggled before he threw his arms around him.


	11. Chapter Eleven

They had been laying in the bed fro some time, quilt pulled over both of their bodies; Alan snuggled against Eric's bare chest. Softly the Scotsman rubbed his back before he kissed his slightly sweat covered forehead. Alan couldn't believe what they had done. It wasn't exactly bad but it was hard to believe. In fact, despite the pain it was absolutely wonderful. Softly he nuzzled Eric, smiling at the small chuckle he gave.

 

"Yer hair tickles." He said softly. Alan smiled before he nuzzled against Eric's chest, listening to him chuckle contently. 

 

"You're such a sweet guy, Eric." Alan said with a slight sigh. "I don't know why Alina doesn't like you." Eric shrugged slightly before he placed a kiss at Alan's cheek.

 

"Probably cause she's yer older sister." Alan cocked his head slightly before he looked up into Eric's emerald eyes. 

 

"What?"

 

"Well," Eric started slowly stroking Alan's brunette hair. "If I had a younger sibling an' they sstarted datin' 'd dislike the partner ye know. 'S only natural for the older siblin's ta dislike the boyfriend er girlfriend." In all honesty Alan had never thought about it like that. He just thought Alina was bitter, what with how she was acting in the past five years. But perhaps Eric was right. "I mean, Cherry wasn' too 'appy when I told 'er I got a ye." Alan cocked his head slightly. Cherry? Who was Cherry?

 

"Who's Cherry?"

 

"Well," the Scotsman chuckled. "Charity. She's m' older sister." Alan paused for a moment. 'Cherry and Charity are the same person.' He thought with a small nod. 'Got it. Mental not taken.'

 

"That's cute that you call her Cherry." Eric chuckled before he nudged Alan playfully and kissed his cheek, a small blush appearing on his cheeks. 

 

"Yeh, 't stuck with me ever since I was a kid when I couldn't say her name properly." Alan smiled. He could see the relation now. It was kind of how like Alan called Alina Leen for so many years because he couldn't say Alina.

 

"So were you around her often when you were a child?"

 

"Yeh. All tha time. She was m' savior, really. M' only friend for so long. She works in tha in infirmary now and she likes it there. 'M glad she's 'appy 'an all." 

 

"She works in the infirmary?" Alan asked as he cocked his head. What with him being in the infirmary so often he might have seen her and just not realized she was kin to his lover. "What's she look like?"

 

"Ah she's a redhead with a pretty freckly face an' thick, round glasses." He said, tapping Alan's glasses playfully. "'Er hair's usually up in a bun er a ponytail. Doesn't keep it down much when she's workin' an' I can understand why. She's got one o' them Scottish accents like I do. Not as thick though." 

 

"She sounds familiar..." Alan said as he bit down on his bottom lip. "She's probably treated me once or twice. I don't know though. I don't usually keep up with the doctors that treat me." Eric looked at Alan with a smile on his face before it slowly faded.

 

The Thorns of Death. Eric had completely forgotten about it. Alan had the Thorns of Death and was usually in the infirmary because of it. How could he forget about the Thorns? That was how they met. Eric bit his lip and he was suddenly washed over with a wave of anxiety as he thought about the terrible effects it had on Alan. He glanced at Alan's arm that laid delicately on his chest only to find the Thorn imprints wrapped around his wrist. The more he thought about it, Alan had them on his back too. And his ankles. Slowly Eric inhaled. He supposed it was best to talk about the subject since Alan had briefly (yet indirectly) brought it up.

 

"Alan," he said slowly as he nuzzled against Alan. "How bad s it?"

 

"How bad is what, darling?" Alan asked, completely content.

 

"Tha Thorns." Alan's breathing almost stopped when he heard Eric's response. He had hoped they wouldn't have to talk about the Thorns but he had seen parts of Alan that would lead anybody to want to talk about it.

 

"Well.. It's uh.. It's pretty bad.." Hes sighed, sitting up sightly as he pulled the quilt up to his chest. "I mean.. You're either in constant pain or in constant fear that you're going to be in pain. And... And it's not something curable. I have to live with having the Thorns for the rest of my life... However long that may be.. And it's terrible. I'm constantly afraid that I might drop dead without even realizing it. I mean... It doesn't help that I'm already frail. It just... Adds on to the problem."

 

"Alan—"

"I've thought about ending it a lot because I know that if The Thorns take me then I'll be in a lot of pain. Nobody wants to be in agonizing pain when they die. They just want to get it over with. So I think: why anticipate death when I can just go ahead and end my life? I could make it so quick and painless, I wouldn't have to worry at all, really. But.. That was before I met you." He said timidly, ignoring the squeeze that the Thorns gave him. "Before I found you I only had my garden. Half the time I couldn't even go see it or tend to it because I was in the infirmary. But I find you and you gave me a reason to keep going, honestly."

"A-Alan," he choked out, his eyes slightly widened. Carefully he leaned over and wiped the tears that were falling down his pale cheeks. He was at a loss for words until he saw Alan's bleeding wrists. "Yer bleedin'." Alan looked down to his blood covered wrists for a moment. Normally he would just let them bleed but Eric looked so worried. "Here, I'll clean ye up then I'll run ye a bath an' ye can relax, yeah?"

"Y-Yeah.." Alan said softly. "That sounds good." He whispered. Softly Eric kissed Alan's pale cheek before he slipped out of the bed and walked to the bathroom where he began filling up the bath. 

The Scotsman gave a low sigh as he watched the water warm the bath. He bit his lip for a moment before turning on his heel and walking to the kitchen where he kept the first aid kit in one of the cabinets. He didn't realize how bad Alan really was and that worried him. For all he knew, Alan could drop dead at any given moment. He couldn't let that happen. Alan was the love of his life and if he were to die on him he wouldn't be able to function. Alan would be so young, too. He cringed slightly before he took the first aid kit and walked back to the bedroom where Alan sat quietly, staring down at his bloody wrists. Eric tried not to sigh It hurt him so badly, seeing Alan sad like that. Slowly he walked over to Alan and placed a gentle yet tender kiss at Alan's cheek before he gently took one wrist in his large hand. Carefully he cleaned that cuts and gently wrapped them. Once he finished he looked at the small brunette who sat with tears welling up in his eyes. 

"Oh Alan," he whispered before gathering the small reaper into his arms. Alan gave a small whimper, nuzzling against Eric's chest as he let hot tears tumble down his cheeks.

"I don't want to d-die, Eric." He whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut as he did. "B-But I know I'm g-going to.. Soon; maybe a f-few months, days, weeks.... H-Hours."

"Don' say tha'!" Eric snapped gently as he clutched Alan close to him. "Alan, ye are strong. If ye've managed ta come this far then I know ye can keep goin'. hey," gently he lifted Alan's head, looking into his watery green eyes as he did. "Alan ye inspire me. If I had tha Thorns I wouldn't be able ta be as strong as ye. Ye're my hero. Ye're so strong through all o' this an' I admire ye for tha'." Alan sniffled, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses before he spoke again.

"R-Really?"

"O' course, I wouldn' lie ta ye." Softly the taller reaper wiped Alan's eyes. "Now c'mon, lemme see tha' gorgeous smile o' yer's." Alan sniffled before he gave a small, weak smile and looked up at Eric. "There we are. Pretty boy." The brunette sniffled, wiping his eyes again before he took a slow, shaky breath. "Ye alrigh'?"

"Y-Yeah.." Alan said softly, slipping off his glasses for a moment. "I-I just..." Then the world went black.


	12. Chapter Twelve

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Eric jumped slightly in the small hospital chair before he looked up to Alina Humphries who had just entered the room.

"Whatta ye mean?" He asked, hand still clamped around Alan's.

"You think you can just come in here and steal my baby brother from me, don't you?! Don't you?!"

"No, I don'." He said with a sigh before he rubbed the bridge of his nose. Alina glared at the blonde before she gave a small roll of the eyes.

"You don't know anything about him."

"Tell me then." Alina stared at the Scotsman, slightly taken aback by his answer.

"W-What?"

"Tell me." He said simply as he stared at an unconscious Alan. "Tell me about him."

"What? N-No. No never mind. How is he?"

"The doctors said he'd alright. Said he's jus' been skippin' out on his pills." Eric said with a small sigh.

"Yeah because he spends so much time with you.." Alina snarled. Eric gave a slight growl before he let go of Alan's hand and stood up, towering over the petite woman.

"Look," he snarled. "I know ye don' like me, tha's ok; I don' really like ye either. But bein' so rude ta me an' actin' like I don' care about Alan's well bein' is terrible. Absolutely terrible. I undserstand tha' ye're his big sister an' ye don' want him to leave ye, I realize tha'. M' sister's tha same way but she would never be rude ta Alan like ye've been rude ta me. Now it might jus' be because ye dislike me an' that's alrigh'. Ye can be as rude ta me as ye'd like jus' as long as it doesn' involve m' relationship with Alan. I love him an' I care about him an' accusin' me otherwise is terrible. I could accuse ye of haitn' Alan but I don' because I know tha' isn't true. Now we can be civil about all o' this or not. I would prefer tha civil way but 's all up ta ye." Alina blinked several times, her eyes slightly wide. she never expected the Scotsman to stick up for his relationship with Alan. slowly she righed, reaching up and tugging slightly at her bangs. 

"Fine. Fine." She said with a sigh. "Let's be civil. Let's act like people. Just... Don't break my baby brother's heart. He wouldn't be able to handle that."

"Never would I break this angel's heart. Never. He's much too precious. 'D rather die first." Slowly Alina nodded, sighing as she did.

"I hope you mean that.." She said before looking at Alan. Gently she leaned down and kissed her brother's forehead. "He really only truly knows two emotions."

"Oh?"

"Compassion and depression." She said before pushing some of Alan's brunette hair from his eyes. "I don't think he wants to know any others because that's all he seems to feel. I know he knows other emotions but.. He doesn't seem to welcome them like he does with compassion and depression." Eric blinked a few times before he sighed.

"Maybe he jus' hasn't had the chance ta experience any others.." Alina shrugged simply. The brunette squirmed slightly in bed before he slowly opened his eyes and gave a slight groan, looking around for his glasses.

"E-Eric?" He asked weakly. Softly Eric took Alan's hand in his, gently kissing it once he did. 

"Yeh love?" He asked quietly. 

"Where am I?"

"In tha infirmary, Alan." He said before brushing the hair from Alan's eyes. "How're ye feelin'?" 

"I.. Have a really.. Really bad headache.." He said quietly, looking to the opened window. "Alina, close the curtains please.." Then suddenly the room was darkened. Alan's green eyes glowed in the dark room along with the dim light of Alina and Eric's eyes. 

A reaper's eyes always glow. The older they are, the brighter they go. Of course, that never applied to little Alan. With having the Thorns his eyes would always glow brighter than a regular reaper's eyes. Eric and Alina's eyes, of course, would glow but not as brightly as Alan's. They didn't glow emerald green like the other reaper's either. They glowed a golden-green, giving an eerie luminescent look to them. Whenever someone shared a room with Alan, they were always unhappy to find his glowing eyes greeting them in the darkness. They practically lit up the whole room with an evil tint. Of course, Alan wasn't of any kind of evil. Alan was probably the most wholesome and good person you could ever meet. Still, that glow gave off an eerie and evil look; the way the Thorns of Death should look. 

Eric was slightly taken aback by the bright glow. Normally when the lights were out, Alan was out. He had never actually seen Alan's brightly lit eyes. Despite how Alan felt about the way they shined, Eric thought they were gorgeous; just like Alan was. Gently Eric caressed Alan's cheek, entranced in the glow of his eyes before he leaned forward and planted a small kiss at Alan's lips. 

"Ye're beautiful.." He murmured simply before gently nuzzling Alan. The smaller reaper blushed slightly before he pushed up into Eric's touch.

"Mmm.." He purred quietly.

Alina stared at the two for a moment, her heart stopping as she bit down on her lip. Alan... Loved Eric. He loved him with every inch of his dying heart and soul.. And Alina... She was so cruel to Eric. Softly she covered her mouth with her hand before she turned around and faced the darkened wall of the infirmary room. She couldn't stand it. She had judged someone that her baby brother, her Alan, had loved so dearly. After a moment she slowly sighed before she turned on her heel and quickly fled form the infirmary room, ignoring the slightly worried call after her that came from Alan.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

"Look at ye," Eric chuckled as he gently pressed his lips to Alan's neck, wrapping his arms loosely around the small reaper's waist. "So gorgeous." 

"Oh hush." Alan said with a soft blush before he leaned his head back against Eric's shoulder, staring at them both in the mirror they stood in front of; staring at how they looked as a couple. A small brunette and a strong, Scottish blonde. Interesting mix. 

It had been four months since Alina had allowed Alan to move in with Eric. Of course, even if Alina didn't allow Alan to do so he was going to do so anyways. They were as happy as they could be. Alan would always have a nice dinner cooked for Eric for when he got home and they would talk about work and life and just things in general while cuddling and having a nice herbal tea on the couch to calm the nerves. They lived in a perfect paradise. Alan's attacks stopped happening so frequently, Eric stopped drinking as much, Alan became much more happier, and Eric became more focused on his work. Everything was turning out just wonderful. Simply beautiful for the both of them. Eric was terrified that it wasn't going to last because of Alina's seeming hatred to Eric but no. Apparently not. Nonetheless, in that moment Eric was just glad to be holding Alan in his arms.

"Ye excited fer tha party?" Eric asked before he pulled away slightly and straightening his tie.

"I'm a little nervous, actually," Alan admitted with a small blush. "I normally don't attend parties such as these, even if they are at the offices." It was the evening of the annual office party. They always had one before the graduation date and it was always nice to let off steam at work.. Though Alan was always invited to each and every one of them, he never attended one. When it came to social events, Alan was much more than a wallflower. He tried so hard to avoid going to social events but, of course, Eric was dragging him along to the party. Besides, Alan always had William to talk to if Eric got too drunk.

"Don' be nervous, Al." He purred. "Ye'll be alrigh',"

"Promise?" Alan asked as he titled his head slightly to look up at Eric. The Scotsman gave a slight chuckle before he kissed Alan's pale forehead. 

"I promise."

Alan gave a small smile before he slowly stretched and looked at he and Eric in the mirror. Gorgeous. Gently he reached up and cupped Eric's cheek in his small, delicate hand before he cocked his head to the side slightly. Eric smiled. the brunette who was wrapped in his arms was absolutely precious beyond all means. Still Eric looked up into the mirror and smiled. They certainly made a very handsome couple. Very handsome indeed. Gently Eric pressed his lips to Alan's head in a soft kiss. As much as he didn't want to let go, he had to finish getting ready. He could hold Alan a little while longer, couldn't he? Gently he nuzzled the small reaper. He was like a doll. A little porcelain doll that Eric had to protect with his life. He wouldn't let anyone hurt him or break him or scratch him up. If it did happen, Eric would surely die He could never have anyone hurt sweet, innocent Alan. That was unacceptable. Gently he kissed Alan's ear, then his cheek before he tilted Alan's head slightly and placed a tender kiss at Alan's soft lips. 

"I love ye, Alan." Eric spoke softly before nuzzling the small reaper. "I love ye so so much. Never forget tha'."

"I won't," Alan spoke softly, nuzzling Eric's shoulder. "I love you too much to forget that." Eric's heart melted at those words. Gently he kissed Alan's head again before he slowly let go of Alan and walked to the bathroom.

"Death's mercy, Al, ye're truly the sweetest thing." Alan smiled, shaking his head before running a comb through his already neat hair.

"I am not." he muttered in response. The small reaper stretched before he slowly walked over to his shoes and slipped into them. Eric smiled before he stepped out of the bathroom, toothbrush trapped in his mouth as he searched around for his brush. Alan smiled before he looked over to the bed where the bright blue brush sat. After a moment Alan walked over to it and handed it over to Eric. "I would think since it's such a bright color you would be able to find it." Eric crinkled his nose playfully and made a small growl behind his mouth full of toothpaste. 

The small reaper smiled before he looked out of the window and to the setting sun. It was beautiful. It calmed him down. The brunette gave a soft, content sigh. Everything was so wonderful. He wanted it to stay like that forever. Of course, Alan knew good and well that all good things had to come to an end. He just hoped that wasn't soon, though. Gently he brought his delicate fingers up to the window and traced the setting sun, admiring how it looked with their little paradise. The place that only they knew. After a few moments the small reaper felt familiar strong arms wrap around his waist and a small grin slowly formed upon his lips. Gently he leaned back against Eric's chest, sighing contently.

"Not a day goes by that I don't think that this is beautiful."

"Our lil' utopia." Eric smiled. A moment of silence passed between the two before Alan gently nuzzled up against Eric.

"Do you ever regret it?"

"Regret wha'?"

"Falling love with me?" Eric's eyes widened slightly before he turned around and gripped Alan's small shoulders, looking into his emerald eyes.

"'Re ye crazy, Al?" He asked. "I could never regret tha'. Ye're tha light of me life an' I love ye with every inch of m' heart an' soul." Alan nodded his head simply, suddenly avoiding eye contact. Softly Eric tilted Alan's head with his thumb and index finger so that the smaller reaper was looking at him. "Alan wha' makes ye think regret it?" Alan shrugged slightly.

"I.. I don't know. I just get insecure sometimes." Eric's eyes softened before he gently pressed his lips to Alan's softly. 

"I love ye, Al. I love ye so much." Alan nodded his head, gently wrapping his arms around Eric's neck.

"I love you too."

"Now c'mon, sweet boy, le's get ta tha' office party."


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Alan sighed as he leaned against one of the walls in the office conference room. It was truly a nice party until Eric got terribly drunk and started flirting with the office sluts. Since then on out, Alan had been on his own. He had no clue as to where William or Grell were, otherwise he would've attempted to hang out with them. He rubbed the bridge of his nose before he looked up and, per usual, found the drunken Scotsman with his arms wrapped around a little blonde while a redhead tugged at his arm. Alan was fuming. He loved Eric so much and Eric loved him. At least, that's what Alan thought anyways. But there he was, grinding up on some whore. Alan would've stopped him but, of course, social anxiety was in the way yet again. Instead he just threw glares at Eric from across the room. The Scotsman didn't seem to care, though. He was too drunk to realize what he was doing.

"Champagne, sir?" Alan jumped slightly before he looked over to one of the women who had been evening champagne the whole night. After he had calmed down from his small fright he shook his head. 

"Oh, no thank you."

"Are you sure? You look like you need a drink." Alan shook his head once more.

"I don't drink alcoholic beverages, but thank you for the offer." The woman simply nodded her head before she walked on. Alan gave a low sigh before he closed his eyes for a moment, trying hard not to cry. Eric told him it was going to be fine. That's what Eric told him. No. It wasn't fine. Alan felt like curling up in a whole and dying. The small reaper slowly opened his eyes again, jumping when he saw William standing in front of him with a puzzled look.

"Alan," he said in his serious tone as he pushed up his glasses. "Are you alright?" Alan went to nod his head but after a moment's pondering he shook his head. 

"No.. Not at all."

"What's troubling you?" Alan said nothing but instead adverted his eyes to Eric Slingby. William followed his gaze before he sighed and shook his head. "I see."

"I can't believe he would do this," Alan whimpered angrily. "He drags me out here to try and have fun then goes and runs off with those... Sluts!" William shook his head slightly before he carefully patted Alan's back.

"He's drunk off his ass isn't he?" Alan nodded his head, letting hot tears run down his porcelain cheeks. William's heart dropped when he saw Alan's tears. Carefully he pulled out a handkerchief and gently wiped Alan's eyes. "Alan, don't cry. You're better than that." 

"I just.." Alan sniffled slightly, biting down on his lip as he did. "He told me he loved me and now he's doing this."

"It is unacceptable." William said with a small nod before he threw a glance back at Eric. "You have every right to be upset, Alan." 

"I can't believe him." Alan said with a sigh. William looked around for a second before he took Alan's small wrist in his and carefully lead him out the door where suddenly they stood under the starry night sky. "Wh-What?"

"If you kept crying in there you were going to have an attack." William said simply before setting down his champagne glass and pulling out his handkerchief. "It is true that we haven't been a pair in quite some time but that doesn't mean I don't know how to take care of you." Alan smiled and giggled lightly past his tears.

"I never said that you didn't." He said with a small smile. William looked at Alan for a moment before he smiled and carefully wiped his eyes again. 

"There's a smile," he said quietly. Alan sniffled slightly again before he took off his glasses to clean them as William patted the sweat from Alan's forehead. After Alan had gotten himself back together he looked at the door that they had exited.

"Do I have to go back in there?" Alan asked in something less than a whine. 

"I recommend you stay out here for a moment unless you want to have an attack in there. It's too hot in there for you to stand. In all honesty, I think it would've been best for your health if you hadn't attended at all."

"Yeah well," Alan sighed. "Eric dragged me along. He told me that it would be fun and that we would have a good time. We only got to spend about twenty minutes together before he was completely wasted." William bit his lip, sighing as he stared at Alan.

"Alan come here." He said before opening his arms. Alan bit his lip simply before falling into William's arms and sobbing. "Deep breaths." He said quietly as he rubbed the brunette's back. 

Alan could do nothing but sob as he clung to William and hid his head against his chest. The older reaper softly rubbed Alan's back, feeling truly bad for him. He knew how much he loved Eric and he knew how much it hurt him to see him with another woman. Well, other women to be exact. Softly William swayed with the younger reaper, trying to get him to calm down. Seeing him so distraught was terrible. Absolutely heart wrenching. William, a long time ago, loved Alan with his heart and soul. Then they slowly began to separate and eventually went their different ways. Of course, they still stayed faithful friends. In fact, they were probably the closest friends in the office. Softly William placed a kiss at Alan's head before he lifted Alan's head slightly and wiped his eyes again. Alan sniffled again before he hid his face against William's shoulder and whimpered. Suddenly the door flew open and both men jumped before William looked up to see Ronald Knox standing there. The young reaper cocked his head before pointing to Alan as if asking 'what's wrong with him?'. William simply mouthed 'Eric' before he went back to tending the brunette.

"Hey Alan," Ronald said softly, slowly walking over to the slightly older reaper. "Are you okay?" Alan shook his head simply before giving another small whimper. Ronald bit down on his lip before he looked up at William. "Boss there's... A matter that you need to settle in there." Upon hearing those words Alan almost automatically pulled away and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Mind staying here with Mr. Humphries?" Ronald shook his head simply before William disappeared into the party doors again. It took Alan a moment to gather himself before he turned around and gave a weak smile to Ronald.

"How are you, Ronnie?" Alan asked softly.Ronald gave a small shrug.

"I'm okay, I guess." He said before he gently put a hand on Alan's shoulder. "How are you?"

"I could be a whole lot better." He said honestly before giving another weak, teary eyed smile. Ronald nodded his head before he gave Alan a small and quick hug. 

"Don't worry about him, okay? He'll know his mistake soon enough." Alan nodded, sniffling again before he nervously began playing with his fingers. 

"I.. Think I'm ready to go back in there." Alan said softly. Ronald's eyes widened before he quickly shook his head.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Alan."

"Why not?"

"B-Because... It's way too hot in there. Way too hot."

"I'll be fine Ronald." He said with a smile before he slowly opened the door and walked back inside.

"Alan, please no—"

Alan walked into the crowded conference room again, inhaling slowly as he walked back to his corner only to find that it was taken. His eyes widened slightly as his breathing stopped. There was Eric Slingby practically on top of someone else, lips latched. But who though? Just as William pulled the two away, revealing the other person to be Grell Sutcliff. Alan's heart dropped as he watched the scene, Eric eager to get back to his prey. Warm tears began to fall from his eyes again before he squeezed them shut.

"Eric Slingby, I can't believe you!" He screamed. The entire room went silent as Eric looked up to see Alan there, tears running down his cheeks. Eric's heart dropped when he saw Alan like that. He knew good and well what he had done and he was so ashamed. 

"A-Alan.." He murmured drunkenly as he slowly walked over to the small reaper. Gently he wrapped his arms around him but Alan squirmed in protest, eager to get him off. "'M so s—"

"Get off of me!" Alan sobbed, squirming violently and giving weak hits to Eric's shoulders and arms. The smell of Grell's perfume and alcohol filled Alan's lungs, causing him to cough violently. "Eric get off!" Taken aback, Eric pulled away and stared down at Alan. Alan said nothing, though, he just let tears run down his cheeks as he glared up at Alan.

"A-Alan..?" Ronald asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Alan shrugged it off, biting down hard on his lip before he ducked out of Eric's reach and ran, tears running down his cheeks.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Alina sat in the den of the house she used to share with her younger brother, snacking lazily on popcorn as she watched the news. It had been an entire five months since Alina had seen Alan and she had gone to shit since. She knew, though, that she had to let her little brother go. She had to let him fly free. It was taking her quite a while to get over it. Her hair, for once, laid messily over her shoulders and on her chest. She was dressed in a white tank top and messy gray sweat pants, something she would normally never be seen wearing, and the ashtrays in the den and kitchen were filled to the top with cigarette butts. Slowly she sighed before she stood up and made her way to the small bar that sat diagonally from the entertainment center. Slowly she began to mix herself an apple martini, her new favorite beverage. Just as she sat back down with her drink she flicked through some channels until she saw the familiar face of her boss, William T. Spears, on the television talking about the annual party. She was surprised, it looked somewhat nice. For whatever reason, though, William looked terribly angry.

"Hmm," she hummed as she sipped some of her martini. "Looks like I missed out on some drama." Carefully she took the remote again as she slowly turned up the volume. 

"Yes the party is going.. Erm.. I wouldn't say smoothly." Alina cocked her head. It looked like it was going pretty smoothly to her. 

"We saw a man running from the party, do you know what that's all about?" William cringed slightly though he tried hard to keep his stoic expression.

"I don't believe that is anyone's business but his."

"But do you know why he looked so distraught?" William looked over to someone off camera, giving a glare before he looked back to the camera.

"I do but that is classified information that I will not be giving." William said simply.

"So what are new hopes for the graduating stu—" Alina rolled her eyes when the television was interrupted by the doorbell. Slowly she stood up. It was probably just the pizza man. She climbed the stairs that lead to the den and slowly walked through the kitchen then found herself in the main hall where she could see a figure outside of her door trembling. She cocked her head slightly before she slowly opened the door, her eyes widening when she saw her younger brother standing there in hysterics.

"Alan!" She gasped before pulling him in and shutting the door. "What in the world is wrong?" She asked as she enveloped him in her arms. For the first time in forever, Alan hugged his sister back tightly, sobbing into her chest as he clutched to her clothing. Alina was in a slight state of shock as she rubbed her brother's back, listening to him sob.

"H-He's s-s-such an a-asshole," he choked out past his sobs. "I h-h-hate him!" 

"Alan what happened? What's wrong?" Alan couldn't say anything else. He could only sob into his sister's arms, clinging to her as if he were afraid to let go. He was alone again. He was by himself. The love of his life just broke his heart. Softly Alina took her brother through the main hall, through the kitchen, and finally to the couch in the den where they both sat down. The second Alina sat down, the younger reaper curled up in her lap and sobbed like he used to do as a child. Gently Alina patted Alan's back, rubbing it in small circles like their mother used to. "Shh. Breathe, Alan. Breathe." It took what seemed like forever for Alan to calm down but he eventually did, nuzzling close to Alina as he sniffled.

"E-Eric, he was k-k-kissing Sutcliff a-and—"

"Shhh," Alina soothed, boiling with rage. "You don't have to talk about it, darling Alan." She knew that Eric hurt Alan and that gave her enough reason to hate Eric again. She had grown to think that he was alright that day in the infirmary room but now all of that was gone. She had to take care of Alan. She had to make sure that he was going to be alright. Gently she ran a hand through Alan's soft brunette hair before she leaned down and kissed his head. 

"I-It hurts.." He whimpered.

"Shhh, I know." She whispered. "That's why I've never bothered to fall in love."

"W-Well," Alan sniffled before he took a tissue from the coffee table and began wiping his eyes. "You're have more experience th-than I do."

"Understandable." Alina said softly, stroking Alan's hair. "But it's alright. Your heart will heal, Alan. I know it will. Your heart will heal and you will be so much stronger and you'll totally forget about the stupid blonde." Alan cringed when Alina called him that. He was so angry with Eric but.. He still loved Eric so much. But how was that possible? Eric shattered his heart then let the pieces blow away yet somehow, Alan still loved him so much.

Time passed with just Alan and Alina sitting in the den, listening to the people on T.V. chatter on and on about the party and how great it was. Eventually Alan got up and began walking upstairs. He couldn't stand it. As he laid down in his old room that night a feeling filled his heart. It wasn't a good feeling either. It was an unpleasantly familiar feeling. Alan knew just what the feeling was, though. This time he wasn't going to shrug the feeling off like he had done so many times before. He wasn't just going to pretend that the feeling didn't exist. He was going to act as the feeling told him to act. Of course, he just had to plot when to act.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

"... You know, Eric, I'm sure Alan misses you a lot... I... I can't believe I allowed you to do that, Eric, I am so sorry. I was completely sober, I was in my right mind.. I'm so sorry. I just.. I have no excuse I know but.. I'm so so sorr—"

"Grell, jus'... Jus' stop it.. Stop it.." Eric sighed, his eyes filling with tears at the thought of Alan. Grell softly bit down on her red colored lip before she looked up at Eric, trying hard not to cry herself. "'M not gonna get 'im back.. Never.."

"Eric don't say that!"

"I fucked up bigtime Grell! I broke m' angel's heart, d'ye think 'e's gonna let me back in?! Cause 'e's not!" Grell sighed before she shook her head slightly. 

"I'm sorry." Eric whimpered, putting his hand over his mouth as he let tears run down his face. "You still love him don't you?"

"O' course I do," he choked out. "'E's everythin' ta me but.. I broke 'is heart.."

"Well... Talk to him.." Grell said softly, trying to help make up for what she had done the night before. Eric shook his head, putting his head in his head in his hands as he let tears fall down his cheeks. Grell looked at Eric for a moment before she sighed deeply. "I'm so so sorry, Eric." Eric just shook his head, balling his hands into fists.

"I love 'im so much. 'E's everythin' ta me. An'... Now 'e's gone.. An' 'e'll never forgive me.. I jus' wan' 'im back. I wan' my Alan back!" He sobbed.

"I know you do, Eric, that's why you need to talk to him! Maybe he'll reconsider if he realizes that it was my fault!" The Scotsman looked up at Grell, his face adorned with dried tears and fresh ones. 

"Yeh well…" He smiled. "'M gonna give it a try... I care 'bout 'im more than I care 'bout myself. 'E's my everythin'. My angel. My knight in shinin' armor. I need 'im back in m' life.. I need 'im. 'Ll do anythin' fer 'im." Grell gave a small sigh, he ruined his mentor's relationship. How in the hell could he do that? He felt so bad. Eric did take a big part in it though, so it wasn't just his fault. "'Ll go tomorrah evenin'. 'E's normally more content in tha evenin'.."

"That's a good idea." Grell said with a small nod. "Don't bother calling, okay? He'll definitely shoot you down then."

"Wouldn' blame 'im.."

"Eric.." Eric sighed before he stood up and started pacing the room.

"Ye don' understand, Grell. Alan is m' everythin', I couldn'ta asked fer anyone better. 'E's all I need. 'E's all I want and ye know wha' I did? I went and I broke 'is lil' 'eart. 'E trusted me with somethin' tha' was so sensitive an' fragile an' I shattered it! Righ' in fron' o' 'im, too. 'Ow's he gonna forgive me now?!"

"Eric stop it!" Grell finally yelled in response. "If he doesn't forgive you then you're just going to have to move on!"

"I can't," Eric growled. "I can't move on. Tha's my Alan an' I hurt 'im. I didn' jus' hurt 'im, I crushed 'im. I shattered 'im. Even if I was able ta move on, I wouldn' be able ta find love again because o' tha' fact."

"Eric, he's just another guy, he's no big deal!" Grell was given no time to retaliate before Eric had her up against the wall by her neck. Eric's breathing was hard, his eyes held a certain rage that was indescribable yet terrifying. Grell gasped for air as she squirmed in Eric's grasp. "Er— Stop, can't bre—" Eric glared at Grell, debating on whether he should've ended him right there. After a moment a malicious grin spread across Eric's lips and he chuckled, squeezing Grell's neck a bit harder. 

"Ye're pathetic," He said simply before dropping the redhead to the floor. He gave another low chuckle before he ran a hand through his hair, suddenly becoming distraught over his loss of Alan again. "Get out." Grell stared at Eric with wide eyes before she gladly did so and rushed from the room, eager to get out to her car and get home. 

Eric was so confused. He wasn't sure if the anger came from his sadness or if the sadness came from his anger. Either way, the two emotions were trying their hardest to try and win. Eric would rather the sadness take over than the anger. Eric was a completely different and terrible person. Of course, if he got too depressed he would go to drinking. God, he didn't know what to do. The large reaper gave a grown before he collapsed on his bed, hiding his face in the pillows that still smelt of Alan. That caused tears to stream Eric's cheeks. He just wanted him back. He just wanted Alan back. He wanted him there, in his arms, peppering him in kisses. But Eric knew that he might not get Alan back. Ever.

Slowly he reached over and grabbed Alan's pajama shirt from behind the pillow and hid his face in it, inhaling slowly as he took in Alan's scent. Tears leaked down Eric's cheeks as he cradled the shirt. He needed Alan. He would rather die than live in a world without Alan. Softly Eric ran his fingers across the silky fabric of the shirt before he buried his face in it and sobbed. Ericas and vanilla. That was Alan's scent and it was heavenly. Alan was heavenly. Eric bit down hard on his lip before he heard his phone ring and he looked up. He held the shirt close to him as he walked over to the phone and slowly answered it.

"'E-Ello?" He asked shakily.

"Eric, baby? It's Charity. I got your message from this morning, are you alright?" Eric bit his lip, trying hard not to cry while his sister was talking to him. Hell, why was he hiding it? Charity practically raised him and she heard him cry all the time. He sniffled before he shook his head.

"N-No.." He whimpered.

"Oh Eric," she sighed softly, biting down her lip on the other side of the phone. "It... It'll work itself out, don't you worry."

"I b-b-broke 'is heart Cherry," Eric cried into the phone, fresh tears running down his cheeks. "I broke m' Alan's heart, 's all m' fault."

"Shh Eric. Look I— Eric sweetie I've gotta go perform a surgery but I'll stop by your place when I get out of here ok?"

"O-Ok.." Eric whimpered again as he clutched the shirt closed to him.

"I love you." Eric squeezed his eyes shut before hanging up. He couldn't even tell his own sister that he loved her.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Alan exhaled slowly as he lowered himself into the bath, closing his eyes behind his glasses as he did. Five days of nonstop crying and he had finally stopped. That didn't mean he was over Eric, no. He would never be over Eric. Never. He loved Eric so much and he wasn't going to get over him; at the same time, though, Alan wasn't sure if he could forgive him for what he did. He missed Eric. He missed him with every inch of his being but he was afraid to take him back. Surely Eric had learned his lesson, right? Of course, Alan wouldn't know. He hadn't seen Eric in six days. Slowly Alan opened his eyes and looked at the scars that now covered his thighs and wrists. Slowly he smiled and ran his delicate fingers across them, admiring his handy work. It was a way to relieve his pain, right? It wasn't bad if it relieved pain. After a few more moments of silence Alan was interrrupted by a knock on the bathroom door. 

"Alan?"

"Mm?"

"I'm going to the grocery, alright?"

"Alright."

"You want anything specific?" Alan sighed before he smiled and shook his head.

"No, Alina, I'm fine. Don't worry." Alina bit her lip before she nodded her head and blew a kiss to her younger brother through the door.

The brunette listened and stayed perfectly quite for a good five minutes until he was positive that Alina had left. He waited another ten minutes before he finished cleaning himself u[ to get out of the bath. Once he did he got dressed in a lovely clad black suit with an "appropriate tie" rather than his bolo tie that Alina thought inappropriate for formal occasions. Slowly he walked from the bathroom, letting the steam leave the room, as he walked to his bedroom and to his desk. He smiled before he pulled out a good five pieces of paper and got an envelope from his desk. He opened the envelope before he folded the papers and put them inside. Before he sealed it, he took a small erica from his vase and wrote 'For Eric' on a much smaller piece of paper before pinning it to the erica's stem with a needle and dropping it in the envelope as well. Alan smiled, sealing it closed before he placed a kiss on it before he slowly walked back to the bathroom. He inhaled slowly. He was ready to go with the feeling that had settled inside of his heart. He was slightly afraid, though. He had never done this before. Never. Carefully he set the envelope on the marble bathroom counter before he reached up to the medicine cabinet and pulled out the anti-depressants that Alina used to slip in with his pills for the Thorns. Before he closed it he grabbed those too. He smiled, opening both of the bottles of pills as tears streamed down his cheeks. Finally the pain was going to stop. Carefully he counted out sixty pills, thirty from the anti-depressants and thirty from the Thorns medicine. 

Slowly he sighed before swallowing them in handfuls, making sure that he wouldn't be able to avoid death. It was time for him. A few minutes passed before he felt light headed and there in front of him stood a woman in clad black. It wasn't the Thorns, though. He would've recognized her. No, this woman had a more comforting sense to her. Gently the woman reached out and placed her hand at Alan's chest. The touch was gentle to Alan at first but quickly it became agonizing and he wanted nothing more than to get the woman off of him. No matter how hard he tried, though, she never budged and he slowly got weaker. He looked up to the woman, his heart rate speeding as he looked at her. It was Death. Death was taking him. He felt his eyes flutter as it suddenly became harder to breathe and his heart felt like it was about to pop. Then suddenly it stopped. The pain stopped, the fast beating heart, the breathing. It all stopped. Alan stopped and there he was, dead on the bathroom floor.

Alina returned home an hour and thirty minutes later, unloading groceries before she carried in some McDonald's for she and Alan to snack on. Something didn't feel right though. The house was oddly silent. There wasn't any soft music playing, there wasn't any sounds of Alan still in the bath, there weren't any sounds to indicate that anyone was alive. Slowly Alina began to walk upstairs, worry boiling up inside of her. She walked straight to Alan's room. She opened the door and looked around, seeing him nowhere. She inhaled slowly, closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to calm down before she walked to the bathroom. To her dismay, she saw the door cracked open slightly. Quickly she ran into the bathroom and screamed when she saw her brother pale and lifeless on the floor with two pill bottles by his side. Without hesitation, Alina ran to the phone and quickly dialed the infirmary number.

"Th-This is Alina Humphries," she spoke quickly, trying not to cry so they could hear her. "Send an ambulance please I think Alan overdosed. Please please please hurry."

"Yes, Ms. Humphries, we're sending an ambulance to your location." The woman answered. Alina hung up before she ran back upstairs and cradled Alan in her arms, sobbing into his chest as she listened for any sign of him still being alive.

"I've got you Alan, I've got you." She sobbed before he shaky voice began to softly sing. "Hush little baby, don't say a word, mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird. And if that mocking bird don't sing, mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring..."


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Eric bit his lip as he let tears run down his cheeks. Gently he reached out and touched Alan's cold face. For the first time, Alan didn't nuzzle his hand back. He didn't tilt his head towards the touch, he didn't give an affectionate purr, he didn't look up at Eric. Alan was gone. There was no coming back. Never. Gently he leaned down and pressed his forehead to Alan's, letting tears gently fall onto Alan's pale cheeks. Of course, he was quick to wipe them away. Alan was gone. He couldn't bring him back. He gave a small whimper, biting down on his lip .On his suit was the erica flower Alan had put in the suicide note and on the piece of paper wrote 'My Love for Eternity: Eric Slingby'. He didn't even get to read the suicide note. Gently he caressed Alan's pale cheek and pressed a loving kiss to his cold lips. It was all his fault that Alan was dead. It was one hundred percent his fault. He should've been more considerate, more caring. He should've been there for Alan. He inhaled shakily before he gave a small smile.

"Even in death, ye're beautiful Alan." He whispered, pressing another kiss to Alan's lips and just hoping that he would kiss back. "I love ye, Al. I love ye so much. 'M sorry fer wha' I did. 'M so so sorry. Please forgive me. Please." Alan didn't answer, though. He didn't smile and wrap his arms around Eric say 'Of course I forgive you, silly!', he just laid there. Motionless. Senseless. Emotionless. Dead. "I wish I coulda helped ye sooner, Al. Ye know I woulda loved ta... Alan, why didn' ye talk ta me about this? I love you an' I always have. I—" Eric's voice began to break away. "I love ye." He managed to whisper before he kissed Alan again and pulled away, tears running down his cheeks.

The casket was closed after much fight with Eric and slowly the congregation proceeded out to Alan's burial. Eric could barely walk straight, due to the fact that he was unable to see because of his tears. Still, he managed to follow right behind the casket that his lover was in. Guilt and depression washed over Eric and he was unable to escape it. He just wanted his Alan back, his light. But Alan was gone, Alan was gone and there was no getting him back. And it was all his damned fault! Eric gave a small whimper as people began to leave flowers on top of the casket. Eric was the last to go. Carefully he walked over to Alan and, instead of placing a flower, placed the flower crown that Alan made him on the casket. He ignored the questioning looks and instead placed a kiss at the top of the casket where Alan's head was before he stood back and watched his lover disappear into the ground. His scythe was placed beside his tombstone, as tradition, and soon it was over.

Eric stood, staring at Alan's name on the tombstone once everyone had left. Carefully he leaned down and ran his hands across the words. 'Alan Nataniel Humphries: a light to us all'. Eric cringed. Alan was his light in the darkness. When he found that light he said he was never going to accidentally blow it out or let it burn out. e was going to protect and cherish it. But he couldn't even do that. He was in the dark again and he wasn't going to be able to find another light. Never again. He pressed his forehead to the top of the tomb and sobbed. That's all he could. How was he going to go back to the cottage? That was a home he had reserved just for Alan. How was he going to deal with seeing Alan's picture everyday? Or getting most all of his belongings? Or getting his office? How was he going to deal with that?

"Here," a sharp voice interrupted Eric and a small stack of about five papers fell onto his lap. The reaper stared at them for a moment, recognizing Alan's hand writing before he turned around and looked up only to find Alina standing behind him. "I made a copy of his suicide not for you. Thought you might wanna see it." She said simply before turning on her heel and walking away. 

'This was no one's fault. The pain became too much for me to bare and I had to somehow get rid of it. The only answer to get rid of this pain was suicide. Though you reading this may have a different answer, that was mine. Pain is something I've never been able to deal with and because of that my thoughts tend to wander to things that can make the pain stop or at least make it go away a little. That's always how it's been to me. Never in my life have I been able to find a coping mechanism that is actually considered healthy. I would starve myself, hurt myself, hide myself, conceal my problems because that's what helped me. It's not wrong if it helps you, right? But what was I to do when my only coping mechanisms failed me? What was I to do? Well the only last resort for me was to end the pain entirely. Suicide. So that's what I did. That was the only way out for me

 

Eric, if you're reading this I want you to know that I love you. It was so wrong of me to not listen to your side of the story. I love you so so much, my darling, and please don't blame yourself for this. Though I'm sure I've already stripped you of most things I must ask for one more favor. Are you ready? Keep on living. Tell everyone my story, tell them about the Thorns, tell them about our love. Don't worry about being unable to see me again. You will. You just have to wait until your time comes. I'm willing to be patient if you're willing to be patient, my love. Besides, I'm trusting you with caring on my legacy. Please don't let me down, Eric. We'll meet again. That I swear.

 

Alina, you were a wonderful sister. I know I didn't show much affection but I love you. Ever since mother and father died you've been like a parent to me and you have raised me wonderfully. Ask anyone. As I told Eric, please don't blame yourself for this. It was because I wanted to go. It wasn't because you couldn't protect me. It was because I was ready to go and I wanted to go. Besides, I'll be in a better place. Again, please keep living for me. I would hate to see my beautiful big sister die so young. It would break my heart.

 

William, thank you for originally teaching me how to love. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have loved Eric properly. I assume you're taking this news how everyone else is but I know that you wouldn't blame yourself. But I'm not sure if you can think about the positive sides. You should do that. Don't think of the negative, think of the positive. Oh, and you should smile more often. You look so very handsome when you do.

 

Ronald and Grell, what else can I say? You're my siblings of the office and I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Grell, I don't hold grudges. I could never. You're much too happy and enthusiastic. Even if I tried to hate you, I couldn't. Please continue to be the happy soul you are. Please. Ronald you are a bundle of joy and you're the little brother I never had. I hope you stay happy. Please do. I would hate to see either of you sad. you're both such beautifully happy people.

 

I would always look back at the cries and laugh but I never thought that I would look back at the laughs and cry. I love all of you so much and you all deserve to be happy. I want you all to be happy, too. Please don't let something as minuscule as death keep you from being happy. We're reapers for Death's sake! Keep smiling, all of you. That's all I can ask for. Please. I don't want any of you to look back at this moment and regret my death. I wanted to go. I want you to think of this as an experience. That's exactly what it is too. I love all of you. I hope I can find you in a place that only we know.'


End file.
